Great GFIL with early onset Alzheimers and Great GMIL with excellent pa skills in boundary stomping live about half a mile away from our family home. Our family home consists of me (6 mo pregnant), my DuH (works away 4 out of 7 days) and our almost 2 year old. We live in a tiny tourist seaside town, with barely any other family around.
Before any one says move, its simply not an option we can consider financially at this point - it would take months to sell our house and i need IMMEDIATE strategies. We bought our house when things were good between GGFIL and GGMIL (pre children).
Before any one says counselling my DuH refuses. Combination of bad wedding counsellor before we got married and refusing to believe in the process. In an article about marriage counselling i read that couples who read articles together to help their marriage and devote time to discuss it and apply it have just as much benefit. My husband is a scientist and LOVES this idea of using peer reviewed research based journal articles. Its had mixed results. The main issue with this process is we need a third person to point out the subtle forms of communication that are perpetuating the issues WHILST we discuss the articles. DuH cant see that.... yet.
Problem is GGFIL keeps coming over to our house hoping to see DuH or DS when he walks the dog. He will bang and bang on our front door. I have ignored him most of the time, but sometimes answer because im expecting parcels in the post. On the occassion that i have left the front door unlocked he will just come in. Often i will stand at the door and tell him i am busy. If my DS is there he will walk in and sit down to play with him. If my DuH answers he lets him in and gets him a coffee etc. he looks at me, sees im annoyed and shrugs his shoulders.
Question: What do i do? GGFIL has freaking Alzheimers. His behaviour is still safe enough to have around my son (DS adores him) but I am monitoring it as i realise his illness can result in aggression in later stages. DuH won't tell him to stop showing up as "Grandad has a terminal illness that changes his personality on a fundamental level and seriously impacts his ability to remeber things and it is only going to get worse. He is not up for discusion." Suggestions?
