I posted this elsewhere on bbc but was advised to head over here because you all give some good advice.
Here goes:
SO's mom and I used to get along fine. Then once I got pregnant she constantly tried to convince me to have an abortion or to give my baby up for adoption because she thought I was too young and she thought SO and I were not stable enough. I kept telling her no, thats not happening. She then tried to scare me out of it by telling me "horror stories" of how painful childbirth is and how much of a burden it would be if I followed through with having my baby. I just kept telling her I wasnt changing my mind. When I was 8 and a half months pregnant she invited my mom, my brother and I over to her house to try to get them in on convincing me to give my baby up for adoption. She basically told me she didnt think I would be able to do it (take care of my baby) and she thinks I should give him up. My family of course did not agree so she finally gave up after being so persistent.
Fast forward to after I gave brith to little one and now she constantly is trying to see him and always inviting us over.
I of course am not okay with this. SO keeps telling me thats lo's "grandma" and am I really not going to let him have his "grandma"?? I feel guilty so I let her see him every once in awhile but its to the point now where I cant take it anymore. I want to tell her what she did and all things she said are not okay. I feel like such a bad mom to lo for letting him be around someone who did not want him to be alive. It makes me want to cry. I think its time to talk to her and tell her we need some time. Then maybe we can set some boundaries. I have so much I want to say and get off my chest I just dont know where to start.
Here goes:
SO's mom and I used to get along fine. Then once I got pregnant she constantly tried to convince me to have an abortion or to give my baby up for adoption because she thought I was too young and she thought SO and I were not stable enough. I kept telling her no, thats not happening. She then tried to scare me out of it by telling me "horror stories" of how painful childbirth is and how much of a burden it would be if I followed through with having my baby. I just kept telling her I wasnt changing my mind. When I was 8 and a half months pregnant she invited my mom, my brother and I over to her house to try to get them in on convincing me to give my baby up for adoption. She basically told me she didnt think I would be able to do it (take care of my baby) and she thinks I should give him up. My family of course did not agree so she finally gave up after being so persistent.
Fast forward to after I gave brith to little one and now she constantly is trying to see him and always inviting us over.
I of course am not okay with this. SO keeps telling me thats lo's "grandma" and am I really not going to let him have his "grandma"?? I feel guilty so I let her see him every once in awhile but its to the point now where I cant take it anymore. I want to tell her what she did and all things she said are not okay. I feel like such a bad mom to lo for letting him be around someone who did not want him to be alive. It makes me want to cry. I think its time to talk to her and tell her we need some time. Then maybe we can set some boundaries. I have so much I want to say and get off my chest I just dont know where to start.
