Evidently I'm destroying my parents' Christmas by not letting them come over at the crack of dawn Christmas morning to witness my kids coming downstairs to see what Santa has delivered. A little background: I am an only child and now have two kids of my own, a 2 yo and an infant. We've always celebrated Christmas morning with my parents/the grandparents but last year we had them over along with my in-laws/the other grandparents, and it was just too much. It felt like a big production and I was busy playing hostess and felt like I was missing out on the special moments. In particular because my parents can't just sit quietly and observe--they have to be at the center of it all. So after that ordeal my husband and I decided we wanted to start a new tradition and have some alone time on Christmas morning with our children before visiting with extended family, my parents included. Especially because we spend the rest of the day running around to everyone else's houses, which is a lot for a 2 yo. I don't think that's too much to ask. But when the subject came up and I informed my parents of our plans, my mom looked like I'd slapped her in the face and almost started crying. My dad has since called begging me to reconsider, "just this year." This year because they live in the same town now but are moving a few states away in January for work-related reasons, and also because they invited my mom's sister this year after many many years of her being absent. On this note, I'm glad my aunt's coming and all, but no one consulted me. And now my parents are using that to throw out outlandish statements like, "Well we need to let your aunt know she won't be seeing the kids experience Santa Claus before she buys her plane ticket. She may be so disappointed that she won't want to come, blah blah blah." Also, they pull this kind of guilt manipulation bullshit all the time and we've been trying to put a stop to it. We have a laundry list of issues we're addressing, mainly with respect to them respecting boundaries and not showing contempt for us as parents. But anyway, my question is... Am I being unreasonable/too hard? Is it worth the fight and hurt feelings? Should I just embrace the spirit of Christmas and let them join us? I'm trying to have a backbone but am wondering if I'll regret all this when they're no longer able to join us for Christmas because they're too old/ sick etc. In short, their ridiculous guilt trips seem to be working so I want to know what you all think. Am I a selfish B or just a mom who wants to share a special time with her children while they're young?
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