So my sister asked me to be the Maid of Honor at her wedding! Yay! I'm extremely excited. However, the wedding is a year away and I already have a knot in my stomach and it is because of my father.
Growing up he was very verbally and emotionally abusive, sometimes physically as well. My relationship with him was always worse than the one my younger sister had with him. I seemed to get the brunt of things. Eventually, my mom and I kicked him out of the house at my mother's request because of the usual abuse and because he wanted me to quit college at 19 to support the family because he was tired of working and felt it was my turn. I haven't seen him since I was about 22, and thankfully he moved out of state.
Since that time, he did a lot of horrible things to me from afar. Nasty messages, emails, texts, and even created a youtube channel to upload videos of himself saying terrible things about myself and other family members. I always ignored it despite my pain. My mom passed away in 2011, and it started a new wave of his nastiness, but eventually with time and avoidance it went away.
My sister started reconnecting with him last year (remember, their relationship wasn't as bad as mine was with him). She said he really seemed to change, so I started becoming more open to talking to him and giving him a chance. At first, it seemed she was right, he was nice and was making amends. But warning signs started happening, he started blaming us for his abuse, making himself a victim like usual, pushing boundaries with me and emotional manipulation. Eventually I cut off contact with him because I couldn't deal with it and was having nightmares about him again. Plus I moved to Florida and am pregnant, I don't need the stress.
Now, I have a year to be nervous about being near him for the wedding. My sister invited him and he will walk her down the aisle. I love my sister and do not want any drama in her day. He is already asking her if he can talk to me that day, and I told her to tell him no. I would never want to be in the same room as him, but need to suck it up for her. I am so scared for that day.
Growing up he was very verbally and emotionally abusive, sometimes physically as well. My relationship with him was always worse than the one my younger sister had with him. I seemed to get the brunt of things. Eventually, my mom and I kicked him out of the house at my mother's request because of the usual abuse and because he wanted me to quit college at 19 to support the family because he was tired of working and felt it was my turn. I haven't seen him since I was about 22, and thankfully he moved out of state.
Since that time, he did a lot of horrible things to me from afar. Nasty messages, emails, texts, and even created a youtube channel to upload videos of himself saying terrible things about myself and other family members. I always ignored it despite my pain. My mom passed away in 2011, and it started a new wave of his nastiness, but eventually with time and avoidance it went away.
My sister started reconnecting with him last year (remember, their relationship wasn't as bad as mine was with him). She said he really seemed to change, so I started becoming more open to talking to him and giving him a chance. At first, it seemed she was right, he was nice and was making amends. But warning signs started happening, he started blaming us for his abuse, making himself a victim like usual, pushing boundaries with me and emotional manipulation. Eventually I cut off contact with him because I couldn't deal with it and was having nightmares about him again. Plus I moved to Florida and am pregnant, I don't need the stress.
Now, I have a year to be nervous about being near him for the wedding. My sister invited him and he will walk her down the aisle. I love my sister and do not want any drama in her day. He is already asking her if he can talk to me that day, and I told her to tell him no. I would never want to be in the same room as him, but need to suck it up for her. I am so scared for that day.