Holy SHIT you guys! I just had an epiphany!!! The song is "black roses" from the show Nashville. It literally is sung from the perspective of scarlet, about her (toxic) mother. 😳😳😳
Here's an excerpt:
"I can see your eyes, staring into mine. But it's a battlefield and
Your on the other side. You can throw your words sharper than a knife and leave me cold in another house on fire.... I lay low. Lay low. And watch the bridges burn. I lay low. Lay low, what more could I have done"
No wonder she reacted so strongly.. It's seriously about her.
I'll try to keep the background light- but touch on a few things. My husband and I have been together for 14 years, married for 8. I knew from the start that mil was a critical, mean woman. I guess when I was young I hoped to win her over. Well I'm 33 now and know that she's never going to change and we'll never have some great relationship like some of my friends with their mil. So she criticizes everything, argues about everything and basically shoves her opinions down our throats whether we like it or not. About what we feed our kids, health choices, financial choices, in her opinion nothing is off limits- my hair cut "you look like a creepy mannequin or a female serial killer", "do you ever change diapers?!" To me because her son did a change in the twins while I pumped. Accuses me of just going out and shopping (with all four kids?! Yeah ok) I'm a stay at home mom. I'm too thick, I talk to much, use too many words- my husband is a wonderful father/ husband and I'm lucky to have him because in her day women did everything. (Which I am lucky, but he also counts himself lucky to have me which she can't understand)
Fast forward to now... I have four kids- ages 6,4 and twin 7 month olds. I stay at home, husband is a firefighter. Before having kids I was a musician- singer. I performed locally, did some recording- but became focused on starting a family and that has been incredible. Recently I've really been missing singing, so I got a silly app that lets you sing covers and I my husband sent a link to his mom. First she responds with "I get someone else" because the screen shot is a picture of Scarlett from Nashville because that's the cover I sang. I'm like, no, that's me singing- just a picture of the original singer. She than calls me this morning and immediately dives into "where do you find time to sing?! Shouldn't you have dishes to wash? Laundry to do? You have four kids? I'm really concerned about this. You wanted a family and kids and now it seems like it's not enough for you etc. "
If anything, I usually get encouragement from friends and family to get back to my singing, and to not hide my talent and passion but she's just ripping me apart. I blew up at her and told her she's the most critical mean spirited person I've ever met, and this silly little app is just a fun outlet for me because I stay at home and that's it and an outlet is healthy. Plus I just miss singing and I shouldn't have to justify it- where I post it (an app, or if I put it on YouTube etc- that's my prerogative) finally I asked her are you just purely jealous, is that what this has always been about?! Jealous over your son, over my life, that I have a good husband, that I have talent?! What?!?! She wound up hanging up on me- I'm just amazed that my singing hit such a nerve with her- my family and friends who know and love me are nothing but supportive. Why can her daughter work and be a mom, go to school, etc etc, but I can't sing? Write? Express myself through music?!
I ended up texting her that I'm done subjecting myself to her constant criticisms and that all she does is tear me down and I'm not allowing it. Is this timeout worthy? I've put her on a 6 month time out a few years ago... Should I leave it to my husband if he and the kids still see her? I just don't want her negativity in my life anymore. Please be gentle with me...
Here's the link she played.
http://www.smule.com/p/506627732_247872407
Here's an excerpt:
"I can see your eyes, staring into mine. But it's a battlefield and
Your on the other side. You can throw your words sharper than a knife and leave me cold in another house on fire.... I lay low. Lay low. And watch the bridges burn. I lay low. Lay low, what more could I have done"
No wonder she reacted so strongly.. It's seriously about her.
I'll try to keep the background light- but touch on a few things. My husband and I have been together for 14 years, married for 8. I knew from the start that mil was a critical, mean woman. I guess when I was young I hoped to win her over. Well I'm 33 now and know that she's never going to change and we'll never have some great relationship like some of my friends with their mil. So she criticizes everything, argues about everything and basically shoves her opinions down our throats whether we like it or not. About what we feed our kids, health choices, financial choices, in her opinion nothing is off limits- my hair cut "you look like a creepy mannequin or a female serial killer", "do you ever change diapers?!" To me because her son did a change in the twins while I pumped. Accuses me of just going out and shopping (with all four kids?! Yeah ok) I'm a stay at home mom. I'm too thick, I talk to much, use too many words- my husband is a wonderful father/ husband and I'm lucky to have him because in her day women did everything. (Which I am lucky, but he also counts himself lucky to have me which she can't understand)
Fast forward to now... I have four kids- ages 6,4 and twin 7 month olds. I stay at home, husband is a firefighter. Before having kids I was a musician- singer. I performed locally, did some recording- but became focused on starting a family and that has been incredible. Recently I've really been missing singing, so I got a silly app that lets you sing covers and I my husband sent a link to his mom. First she responds with "I get someone else" because the screen shot is a picture of Scarlett from Nashville because that's the cover I sang. I'm like, no, that's me singing- just a picture of the original singer. She than calls me this morning and immediately dives into "where do you find time to sing?! Shouldn't you have dishes to wash? Laundry to do? You have four kids? I'm really concerned about this. You wanted a family and kids and now it seems like it's not enough for you etc. "
If anything, I usually get encouragement from friends and family to get back to my singing, and to not hide my talent and passion but she's just ripping me apart. I blew up at her and told her she's the most critical mean spirited person I've ever met, and this silly little app is just a fun outlet for me because I stay at home and that's it and an outlet is healthy. Plus I just miss singing and I shouldn't have to justify it- where I post it (an app, or if I put it on YouTube etc- that's my prerogative) finally I asked her are you just purely jealous, is that what this has always been about?! Jealous over your son, over my life, that I have a good husband, that I have talent?! What?!?! She wound up hanging up on me- I'm just amazed that my singing hit such a nerve with her- my family and friends who know and love me are nothing but supportive. Why can her daughter work and be a mom, go to school, etc etc, but I can't sing? Write? Express myself through music?!
I ended up texting her that I'm done subjecting myself to her constant criticisms and that all she does is tear me down and I'm not allowing it. Is this timeout worthy? I've put her on a 6 month time out a few years ago... Should I leave it to my husband if he and the kids still see her? I just don't want her negativity in my life anymore. Please be gentle with me...
Here's the link she played.
http://www.smule.com/p/506627732_247872407