Hi ladies
I just need a bit of advice on how you'd handle this situation. I've dealt with verbal abuse from MIL since I've been with my SO. She's not stable and when she gets ready, she dumps her frustration on anyone she can reach. She's been "cut off" multiple times for this reason, but she knows how to play the guilt card well with her son and he always comes to me wanting me to forgive her. One of her recent past rants towards me included her saying things like, " I let my daughters suck on my dirty nasty titties (regarding breastfeeding), and that I'm living off of her son (I'm a SAHM) and all I'm good for is letting the girls suck on my nasty breasts.
This woman is crazy and has proven herself to be, time and time again. She's also threatened me verbally as well, but I won't go into detail. After her rants, she'll apologize and say she loves me and her grand daughters very much. She goes back and forth just as an abuser would, and she's done this for years. During my last pregnancy, she called and cursed me out and then apologized a few months later. I decided that I didn't want that in my life, and I don't want anything to do with her. I don't have bitterness in my heart towards anyone, but I respect myself and my daughters enough to not allow her in my life. If SO wants a relationship with her, that's fine. But I'd rather keep her at bay.
Well today, he told me her birthday is coming up and that he'd like her to visit for a few days. He wants her to spend time with the girls. I'm not comfortable with this at all! I even question the idea of how he is comfortable with all of this. Anyway I told him there no way she's coming to the house. If she comes to visit, she can stay elsewhere and we can meet her at a public place. I think that's very reasonable. I can't even believe I agreed to even that. SO says he will be here at the house when she visits so there's nothing for me to worry about. I told him whether he's here or not that she's not allowed in our home. And he feels that sooner or later I will have to put everything in the past and forgive her. And that eventually she should be able to come to the house. What do you ladies think? Thanks in advance for your suggestions/advice. This is the one thing that keeps setting us back in our relationship.
I just need a bit of advice on how you'd handle this situation. I've dealt with verbal abuse from MIL since I've been with my SO. She's not stable and when she gets ready, she dumps her frustration on anyone she can reach. She's been "cut off" multiple times for this reason, but she knows how to play the guilt card well with her son and he always comes to me wanting me to forgive her. One of her recent past rants towards me included her saying things like, " I let my daughters suck on my dirty nasty titties (regarding breastfeeding), and that I'm living off of her son (I'm a SAHM) and all I'm good for is letting the girls suck on my nasty breasts.
This woman is crazy and has proven herself to be, time and time again. She's also threatened me verbally as well, but I won't go into detail. After her rants, she'll apologize and say she loves me and her grand daughters very much. She goes back and forth just as an abuser would, and she's done this for years. During my last pregnancy, she called and cursed me out and then apologized a few months later. I decided that I didn't want that in my life, and I don't want anything to do with her. I don't have bitterness in my heart towards anyone, but I respect myself and my daughters enough to not allow her in my life. If SO wants a relationship with her, that's fine. But I'd rather keep her at bay.
Well today, he told me her birthday is coming up and that he'd like her to visit for a few days. He wants her to spend time with the girls. I'm not comfortable with this at all! I even question the idea of how he is comfortable with all of this. Anyway I told him there no way she's coming to the house. If she comes to visit, she can stay elsewhere and we can meet her at a public place. I think that's very reasonable. I can't even believe I agreed to even that. SO says he will be here at the house when she visits so there's nothing for me to worry about. I told him whether he's here or not that she's not allowed in our home. And he feels that sooner or later I will have to put everything in the past and forgive her. And that eventually she should be able to come to the house. What do you ladies think? Thanks in advance for your suggestions/advice. This is the one thing that keeps setting us back in our relationship.
