I've been trying to move on from what happened this past weekend but it's still bothering me.
For starters, I should mention that my baby DOES NOT cry unless a sibling bonks him accidentally or sometimes he gets scared of strangers. I have let MIL know that I understand he might cry with her but I don't want him to cry his head off at all.
Last month MIL came to our house and babysat our 3 kids (7, 2 and 3 months) I was very worried that she would try to handle everything and not call if shit hit the fan. So DH got FIL on board as well so they could do it as a team. It went well, they watched everyone for about 4-5 hours.
This past weekend we had a dumb work company party to go to and both MIL and FIL were to come over and babysit for just a couple hours. FIL got sick and couldn't come, I figured things would be okay like last time.
I had not heard from MIL and sent her a text to let her know we could leave at any time, if baby's fussy or needs more milk or anything at all. She said baby got upset, and that it made my oldest daughter upset, but that he is fine and sleeping.. this was a big red flag to me- my 7 year old is upset cause the baby is upset? It must be bad. I should have left.
I tried to brush it off since she said he was fine and I trusted her, DH was having fun socializing and everything. We left maybe 30 minutes later to come home. As we walked in the house my 7yo is sitting on the couch looking distressed and MIL is pacing with my sobbing baby and she says "he HATES that bottle!!" I asked her why didn't she call, and she told me she just sent a text message a minute earlier to come home and feed him because he won't drink from the bottle.
As I took baby upstairs to nurse, my daughter follows me up and says "Mama, please don't ever leave us at home again." She was pale faced and shaking, trying not to cry. Then she came back in my room a few minutes later and asked for a clean blanket for her bed because she had thrown up on her covers while she was crying in her room earlier. She said that the baby was crying soooo much and was so upset, that she was scared for him and she wanted to call me but MIL wouldn't let her.
So.. exactly as I had predicted- MIL's pride and ego got in the way, trying to be Super Grandma. The biggest thing bothering me is not allowing my daughter to call me. I was talking about this to my grandma and she reminded me there was another incident where my daughter had wanted to call me at a sleepover and MIL wouldn't let her. I can't remember specifics of the situation though.
MIL hasn't tried to contact me.. in fact it seems like she's avoiding me. I want to forgive and move on and work with MIL in case she wants to babysit again but I'm still upset about the whole thing and wonder if it's worth fixing right now.
