Very upset right now.
Months ago, DH and I agreed that we would not tell anyone when I went into labor. It seemed like a non issue.
Today, I come home from work and DH tells me he saw his mother. Apparently she is going on vacation fairly soon, for a week or so. Ok great, I'm not going to stop her just because I'm due in 3 weeks, in fact I'm glad/relieved she isn't staying here just "in case". DH told her that I didn't want anyone at the hospital anyway, wanted some time to ourselves and that "she wouldn't see us for 2 or 3 days" after the birth anyway. Apparently MIL responded by saying that was fine and she "didn't want to come to the hospital if that's not what we wanted", and DH was acting like she should get an award for saying this. I don't trust her, she was abusive to DH as a child, when we were engaged told DH that in her "culture" the bride pays for the wedding, which DH and I completely paid for anyway.
Anyway, the following convo with DH ensued:
Me: 2 or 3 days? Why did you give a timeline? It could be longer, I don't know how I'm going to feel. And I thought we had agreed not to tell anyone when I go into labor?
DH: Ok, fine, whatever it is. What if it slips out?
Me: Slips out? That doesn't SLIP OUT. We are not telling anyone.
DH: ok fine we won't tell anyone, I don't want to talk about this anymore, I worked all day, I'm going to leave if you keep arguing.
Me: I'm not arguing. I'm having a conversation and expressing myself. Did you read the article I sent you about how important it is to have private time after birth? (Lemon clot essay)
DH: I'm too tired to read it now. But I don't want to argue now.
I kept saying I wasn't arguing and that he didn't even give me a chance to speak. He was defensive and trying to get me to stop talking.
I wanted to tell him how important it is for me and us to bond as a family, have private time, and not make any promises as to when visitors are welcome. But he didn't give me the chance because he got dressed and just left. He is usually very attentive, loving, caring etc. I am really bothered by the fact that he is acting like his ears will melt off if I say one more word, and his solution is to run out of the house.
What do you guys make of this?
I also really hate how it seems like he's trying to make MIL look like a saint.
Months ago, DH and I agreed that we would not tell anyone when I went into labor. It seemed like a non issue.
Today, I come home from work and DH tells me he saw his mother. Apparently she is going on vacation fairly soon, for a week or so. Ok great, I'm not going to stop her just because I'm due in 3 weeks, in fact I'm glad/relieved she isn't staying here just "in case". DH told her that I didn't want anyone at the hospital anyway, wanted some time to ourselves and that "she wouldn't see us for 2 or 3 days" after the birth anyway. Apparently MIL responded by saying that was fine and she "didn't want to come to the hospital if that's not what we wanted", and DH was acting like she should get an award for saying this. I don't trust her, she was abusive to DH as a child, when we were engaged told DH that in her "culture" the bride pays for the wedding, which DH and I completely paid for anyway.
Anyway, the following convo with DH ensued:
Me: 2 or 3 days? Why did you give a timeline? It could be longer, I don't know how I'm going to feel. And I thought we had agreed not to tell anyone when I go into labor?
DH: Ok, fine, whatever it is. What if it slips out?
Me: Slips out? That doesn't SLIP OUT. We are not telling anyone.
DH: ok fine we won't tell anyone, I don't want to talk about this anymore, I worked all day, I'm going to leave if you keep arguing.
Me: I'm not arguing. I'm having a conversation and expressing myself. Did you read the article I sent you about how important it is to have private time after birth? (Lemon clot essay)
DH: I'm too tired to read it now. But I don't want to argue now.
I kept saying I wasn't arguing and that he didn't even give me a chance to speak. He was defensive and trying to get me to stop talking.
I wanted to tell him how important it is for me and us to bond as a family, have private time, and not make any promises as to when visitors are welcome. But he didn't give me the chance because he got dressed and just left. He is usually very attentive, loving, caring etc. I am really bothered by the fact that he is acting like his ears will melt off if I say one more word, and his solution is to run out of the house.
What do you guys make of this?
I also really hate how it seems like he's trying to make MIL look like a saint.
