I have some background on my MFOO (mom's family of origin), but I'm mobile. Anyhow, it gives bg as to WHY I don't want to do stuff with this side of my family but is not super relevant to the question.
How do I phrase "that doesn't work for us" when people actively try to schedule an event for a time that does work for us? My MGP host a Christmas party at their house around (but not on) Christmas every year. My DH and I were at about 50% before our DD was born. Last year, they rearranged the date to ensure we (aka my DD) could be there. I do not wish to go this year, as 1) last year was miserable 2) I don't want to set a precedent of attending 2 years in a row and 3) I don't want to go.
I've been trying to disabuse them of the notion that an invitation is a summons, but I can't figure out how to word this without JADEing when they try to dig a workable date out of us. A conversation along the lines of "what dates work for you." "that doesn't work for us" just doesn't flow. Honestly, NO dates work for us because I don't want to be there, but if we tell them that and then are nearby visiting other folks, shit will go down. I'd prefer just to have a nice boring canned answer along the lines of "that doesn't work for us."
My DH thinks I'm giving this way too much headspace, but my MGP are my BEC, and they can turn my mom into a FM in their efforts to ensure a "perfect family Christmas [photo]"
Any advice, oh wise DWILlers?
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When "that doesn't work for us" is a non sequitur NEW Q on 54
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