Ill start out with when we first found out we were pregnant. We told the MIL that night and the first thing she replied with was "OMG, we need to do a gender reveal and have a baby shower" I don't mind the baby shower. But I hate the idea of a gender reveal. I had a stillbirth at 28 weeks with what was presumed a little boy. *backstory* My mom couldn't carry boys, or children regardless, I was taken out at 28 weeks. I got tested for her antibody and did not have it, but I was never told why I had my stillbirth. I accounted it as genetic problems because it was 5 weeks behind my week (the doctor was aware, I had a ultrasound and a glucose test within the same week I lost the baby) my old OB said well your uterus probably wasn't going to grow anymore. *end backstory* A few weeks passed and she wanted us to look at her baby names. Well we already had names picked out, cause we were TTC for 4 months. We told her that we were choosing Adalynn for a girl and Heston for a boy. Well she started saying to everyone that we were naming our baby after her. I'm sorry but not in a million years would I name my child after you. Her middle name is Lynn and she just assumes we did it because of that. Which has made me want to change our girl name to Adaline or Madaline. She wont let that live down now. Skip ahead to a couple weeks before Valentines day. I was talking to DH after I found something on pinterest about gender reveal to your DH or SO. I thought it was the most adorable thing ever. Then I remembered that his mom was ALREADY buying things for the gender reveal party. DH said it was a cute idea and that we could do it. Well I texted his mom and told her what I was going to do. She never wrote back. I told DH. So on valentines day, his mom comes over to give DD a gift, I told her what I wanted to do and she just shot it down, like it was her pregnancy. Ill admit. It almost made me cry. She said "What's the point in doing one then?" I said "We can still do it for nana, papa, DIL, BIL (older and younger), and the internet" She said "No you cant do that" Then DHs older brother chimes in with "If you know I get to know" DH said "She's the ones carrying it" Well my MIL still said no. So you see the dilemma here.. I Told her the same day that she couldn't be in the ultrasound room cause there can only be 2 people, that would be DD and DH. She said "Well I can have someone watch Annie in the waiting room" Uhm no.. MY daughter will be just as much involved in this as I and DH am. I told her Id get her a slip of paper saying what It was. She didn't like that idea. I believe it should just be me and DH and DD in the room basically for bonding reasons. I don't need her mouth along with it. I talked to DH and he told me to write a list and he will tell her everything on that list and she can either agree with it or can hold a grudge. I never wanted a reveal party, as she pushed that. Me and DH have agreed that we are doing my gender reveal for him, that it will be just me, him and DD in the ultrasound room, that while im in labor, It will be just me and DH, that we will be alone for at least 4 hours after birth, and that DD and my mom (she will be the one watching DD) will be the first ones in there, unless my dad has to be at work (which DH has agreed to that as well) so DH will be telling his mom our plans tomorrow/today (Feb 22) while he's at work. MIL can still do her gender reveal but it will just be for 5 people instead of 7. I have to write a list. But if this does not work, or go through her mind, I don't know what else to do. Which is why I am posting here. I need advice, Nice, mean, everything. I need a backbone but she isn't my mom and I don't disrespect other peoples parents. She's pushing her way into our pregnancy and I absolutely hate it..
