Background:
things have gotten a bit better. I've mostly stopped replying to MIL's texts and visits have been cut down drastically. but now we're in a situation that could mean nothing but i SWEAR it's something and i'm starting to have that "dear god, am i crazy?" feeling, and it's all related to me thinking that she refuses to let her son be an adult.
We're moving this weekend. Several weeks ago, she texted df and said "i took the weekend of the 27th off and 3/1 to help you move". We did not ask her for help or to take time off work. Df texted her back and said "thanks, but we're getting movers"
Last weekend, she texted him again and said "do you know if you're going to need us next weekend?" and he again said "we're getting movers" she then started texting him pictures of sofas and he texted her "? and she said "which one do you like better?" he asked why and she said "well we know you're throwing away your old sofa and thought it would be nice if we bought you one. is there a big lots near you so you can go try them out?" i realize this seems like a nice gesture and i probably sound like an asshole. but, because i think she treats us like children, it felt more like a "well i know you guys can't take care of yourselves" gift.
A few days later, she texted me and said "I took the weekend of the 27th off and 3/1 if you guys need any help" I didn't answer, because i know she knew we didn't need help.
Earlier today, she texted me and said "can i spend the day with LO on March 1st (tuesday)?" and i said yes. a little while later, i get a text from df saying "my mom wants to come see the new place on sunday" she then responds to MY text (i'm sorry if that's hard to read, but the timeline is important) and says "great! you'll be in your new home by then, right?" ....what? you know we will. you've been asking us if we needed your help for 3 weeks....
so what i'm looking for is basically some reassurance that there's something going on wiht her. and that she's not just over-eager. if i just kenw what to call it, i feel like we could start tackling it. if i bring it up to df, he basically says it's because she has the mentality of a small child. I've started reading toxic parents and i couldn't stop thinking of her when i read the chapter on manipulators.
or I'm crazy, and you can tell me that too!
FWIW, i don't want her help moving because A. she has a bad knee and can't carry anything and B. Df has moved a lot between college and now and she LOVES complaining about how much they've helped him move.