Been lurking for a long time. Never posted or commented. I am sorry for any rambles and things that don't make sense. I am literally shaking with rage right now.
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BG: My mother is in the military. When I was 11 we were living in AZ and she was transferred to CA. I use to live with her, my aunt, and my aunts son. When my aunt found out we were going to california she decided she wanted to stay in arizona and move in with aunt2. Aunt2 has 4 kids 2 girls and 2 boys. Although only 1 boy lived with her, Chris. For 2 months during summer break my mom went to CA to get things settled and I stayed with Aunt1&2 in arizona.
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**TRIGGERS** While living with my aunt in az my cousin Chris sexually assaulted. I told my aunt, who cried and said it was all her fault for not protecting me. That she would get in trouble so it had to be kept a secret. I loved my aunt, I saw her as a second mother and didn't want to get her in trouble. So I kept it a secret. For 12 years I have not said anything to anyone in my family. My friends and husband know. I kept it a secret from my mom because she's a blame the victim type. **END TRIGGER**
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I logged onto my second Facebook that only has family to find out that this sick twisted mother fucker named his son after me. I don't know what to feel other than pure fucking anger. I will never meet this child. None of them will ever see me again. None of them will ever meet my son. The point of all this is that I am finally going to tell my mother, because she is constantly bitching at me and badgering me about faaaamily and why don't I ever visit my aunt. She loves me and we use to be so close. Why don't I go to family functions that my cousin will be at I'm pushing the family away.Here is the letter I have drafted for her. Her and I already have a rocky relationship so honestly I think this will result in her needing to be cut off as well. Here's the draft, does this sound okay?
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Well I never intended to tell you this for the sake of not causing waves in an already fucked up family. You want to know why I refuse to help toya or cater to her? Why I hate seeing aunt2's family? When I was 11 going on 12 right before we moved to ca. When I spent the summer at aunt2's with aunt and cousin. While there Chris sexually assaulted me. That night I went crying to aunt and cousin and told them exactly what happened. Cousin was naturally enraged. He wanted to kill Chris. Aunt told him to calm down. She began crying and told me that this was all her fault, she should have protected me. She also told me that if I told anyone she would get in trouble for not protecting me. I naturally being naive did not want to get aunt in trouble. She was a second mom to me. So I kept quite for 12 fucking years I have kept my mouth shut. Showed up to thanksgivings and christmas's and any other event you wanted me to go to. I helped aunt, drove her around and allowed her in my life. Until one day in a psychology class I realized just how fucked up it is to manipulate a child into keeping quiet about sexual abuse to save herself from strife. She didn't want me to cause ripples and get her kicked out of aunt2s house. She didn't want to do what a parent is suppose to do and defend me. Aunt has done plenty of fucked up things through out my childhood all of which I looked past because of ignorance. However I will never see that woman again. That bitch put her comfort above my safety. I was no longer angry at Chris or Aunt. I had moved on and made peace with the situation. But the fact that Aunt knew Chris was going to name his mother fucking child after me and said nothing. Just went along with her own comfort and self importance. She is dead to me. She will never see me again. She will never see my children. I will never see Chris again. He is dead to me, his children do not exist to me. I will never meet that child. I will never speak to any of them ever again. If you feel that is wrong then you are just as much an enabler as aunt. Your fate to me will be the same.