My MIL does not like me. We lived with her almost my entire pregnancy to save money, and during that period of time she determined that I was NOT an enjoyable person, I guess. But I was always very kind and polite to her. We lived in an apartment upstairs and I did not come down and participate in casual conversation much because 1)I was pregnant, depressed, tired and I just wanted to eat, watch tv, and do whatever in the privacy of our living space. And 2) we don't really have anything in common other than LO and DH. So conversations always seemed forced. But I tried.
Anyway, from the start of bringing LO home from the hospital everything was fine. She was very supportive for about a week other than inviting people over to see the baby when I add repeatedly told her that I didn't want anyone over to visit the baby for at least a week. Then slowly she would insist that I bring LO downstairs and out of "that dungeon" everyday. All day. Again, we lived in basically an apartment type ordeal upstairs. There were windows and all of her baby stuff. She even had a nursery. But somehow, it was a dungeon. I tried to do as she wished for a few days, but it just ended up with me sitting there bored out of my mind while she held my baby all day. As a brand new mother, this brought me to tears by the time DH would get home. So I stopped doing this. I of course still took LO downstairs at least once a day to visit, and nearly everyday outside to sit for a little while. But this wasn't enough for MIL. She started disrespecting my wishes about smoking in the house and we would be constantly avoiding taking LO downstairs because she would smoke when we were not there. I understand that it is HER house. But she would get so mad at me (note, me, not DH) for not bringing LO downstairs. When we tried explaining why, she threw her hands up and said she didn't want to talk about it.
Now we live on our own. Since moving out, MIL has texted DH requesting to see LO without me because I am "just too overbearing". She says this because I don't like leaving LO alone with her because she is constantly drinking, smokes and doesnt change clothes, doesnt listen to any requests that i ask for her to not do/do while taking care of her. And i don't just let her sit there with her for hours at a time because she is my baby and I should be able to leave with her whenever I want to. I find it extremely rude that she asks to specifically see my daughter without me.
She also has given my daughter a nickname that I have asked her to not use. LO's name is Ember, which MIL hates so she calls her Emmy. I don't like the name Emmy personally, and I don't want her to call LO by any nickname. But she does it out of spite because we wouldn't change her name to something that she liked.
The other day DH wanted me to do our laundry at MIL's house because we don't have a washer/dryer yet. So I went to drop it off and put it in the wash. Later, DH came by and put it in the dryer. Apparently in doing so he had taken out MIL's clothes and put them in a basket instead of folding them. So about an hour later I get a text telling me how she doesn't appreciate me wadding up her clothes so that I could do mine and that I needed to be more considerate. I replied that I was sorry that that happened, but DH was the one who must have done it. She then said "well you've done it in the past so what ever". Since moving out I have literally said nothing to her other than offering for her to see LO. Which she complains about never seeing her and then is rude to me when I offer and doesn't ever take me up on it.
There is so much more but I know this is too long already. It also isn't just her, his brother and sister are extremely rude to me as well. And I just don't know what to do or how to handle her when killing her with kindness doesn't work.
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My MIL is extremely rude to me.
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