It's time I post. Warning this will be very long. I've been lurking for awhile and think it's time some of you light the necessary fire under my ass.
BG: Been with my DH since I was 18. That was 7 yrs ago. We got married last year. His parents have always overstepped boundaries and so have his siblings but that's a whole other post. When I was younger I didn't think it was my place to tell my DH that his family was disrespectful. Once we got married I became fed up. My ILS payed for 50% of our wedding. Bc they gave us that gift I let them have a certain number each of guests they wanted at the wedding. We also let FIL marry us. Did the whole counseling at the church etc although I'm not religious bc FIL wanted it. The ILS wanted a 2 day family reunion hosted at our venue the day after the wedding flying people in who weren't even invited to the wedding. The venue was a vacation home so my family was staying for 3 days also. I found this to be so rude to completely exclude my family and host his family for days so I told DH to say no. Well they did it behind our backs anyways. We fucked up because in the moment we didn't want drama the day after our wedding we let it happen. Now they can't stop overstepping.
Back to present day. We have a baby on the way and now I'm really fed up because the baby is not even out and they are crossing lines already. FIL said we need to get back to church so the LO can be babtized & if we don't he will babtize LO in the sink. He isn't joking he's tried with another nephew. They constantly talk about our diets bc they just lost weight so now we all need to diet. I said MIL could come stay for 2 weeks after my mom comes to stay with me for a week after birth. She kept trying to come earlier and tried to stay later then DH told her she could. Also tried to fly FIL in although I had already said I don't want him here until the baby is 3 months and DH can take time off to host FIL. FIL should not be around anyone who has just given birth he is a giant baby. It took 3 weeks to finally get MIL to agree to the dates she can visit and actually understand she can't come earlier or stay later. It's just been a real battle of them not listening to our after birth wishes.
They are already talking about Christmas and how we have to fly there and to be honest I want my first Christmas with DH and LO to be nuclear family only. They keep trying to pry into our finances by asking us how much we make and telling us how we should spend our money. The list can literally go on and on.
I look like the bitch b/c I'm the only person who married into the family who seems to have a clear problem with this and wants boundaries set right away before LO is here.
DH has just started standing up to his parents. I guess my real question is I screwed up by passively letting them get away with this for so long. How do I reel this back in and try to get them to understand boundaries before it gets to the point where I just want to cut them off?
*edited some spelling issues
BG: Been with my DH since I was 18. That was 7 yrs ago. We got married last year. His parents have always overstepped boundaries and so have his siblings but that's a whole other post. When I was younger I didn't think it was my place to tell my DH that his family was disrespectful. Once we got married I became fed up. My ILS payed for 50% of our wedding. Bc they gave us that gift I let them have a certain number each of guests they wanted at the wedding. We also let FIL marry us. Did the whole counseling at the church etc although I'm not religious bc FIL wanted it. The ILS wanted a 2 day family reunion hosted at our venue the day after the wedding flying people in who weren't even invited to the wedding. The venue was a vacation home so my family was staying for 3 days also. I found this to be so rude to completely exclude my family and host his family for days so I told DH to say no. Well they did it behind our backs anyways. We fucked up because in the moment we didn't want drama the day after our wedding we let it happen. Now they can't stop overstepping.
Back to present day. We have a baby on the way and now I'm really fed up because the baby is not even out and they are crossing lines already. FIL said we need to get back to church so the LO can be babtized & if we don't he will babtize LO in the sink. He isn't joking he's tried with another nephew. They constantly talk about our diets bc they just lost weight so now we all need to diet. I said MIL could come stay for 2 weeks after my mom comes to stay with me for a week after birth. She kept trying to come earlier and tried to stay later then DH told her she could. Also tried to fly FIL in although I had already said I don't want him here until the baby is 3 months and DH can take time off to host FIL. FIL should not be around anyone who has just given birth he is a giant baby. It took 3 weeks to finally get MIL to agree to the dates she can visit and actually understand she can't come earlier or stay later. It's just been a real battle of them not listening to our after birth wishes.
They are already talking about Christmas and how we have to fly there and to be honest I want my first Christmas with DH and LO to be nuclear family only. They keep trying to pry into our finances by asking us how much we make and telling us how we should spend our money. The list can literally go on and on.
I look like the bitch b/c I'm the only person who married into the family who seems to have a clear problem with this and wants boundaries set right away before LO is here.
DH has just started standing up to his parents. I guess my real question is I screwed up by passively letting them get away with this for so long. How do I reel this back in and try to get them to understand boundaries before it gets to the point where I just want to cut them off?
*edited some spelling issues