This is my first post. I am at a point with my parents where I am done and need help with how to respond or if I even should.
BG My mother is a narcissist and my father is a puppet. For many years, I was caught up in her game, believing she was the victim in her family problems, her job, my dad's family. She was fired from her job 10 years ago because she was sleeping with the owner (she never admitted this but everyone knew. the wife fired her.) She talks bad about me and my siblings behind our backs, lies, manipulates, etc. I could continue with examples of her insanity but no one has time for that. I left my husband in 2009 and she told me she knew how I felt due to being fired and then proceeded to tell me what I did wrong in my marriage. This was when I woke up to who she really was. I started backing away from her and focused on fixing myself with therapy and, for a short while, medication.
I met my current dh in 2009 and over the years, had less and less to do with my parents and my brother who is just like my mom. My sister and I have a good relationship. I have tried many times to talk to my mom about why I pushed them away but she refuses to discuss it with me. I do not contact them and rarely respond on the off chance that they reach out to me. They have met DH but have been rude to him and don't like him becuase he is not exH.
I got pregnant in Feb and told them in May. My mom called me twice and emailed me a handful of times during my pregnancy. Towards the end she decided she was entitled to be at the hospital and planned to force herself on me. My dad refused to drive her. I was polite and did let them come to my house to meet the baby. I had actually been allowing them to be involved in a few life events that occured this past summer, including my odd's graduation. My fault for that. They invited us to Christmas but I declined because my mom, brother and sister just yell and fight at every family gathering. I have not gone for 3 years. I was honest with them as to why I wasn't going. My brother, his wife and 2 kids asked to come to my house on Dec 26th to which I agreed. That day, my parents invited themselves along. DH was picking up dinner for everyone when they arrived. My 2 nephews asked to play outside and were told yes despite the fact that it had rained for 3 days on the yard was very muddy. They tracked mud in to the house which my mom and SIL sort of cleaned up. When DH came home, he was very mad about the mud covered floors and kinda yelled about it. He went outside to cool down and then asked to talk to my brother. My brother went outside, came back in within a couple of minutes and announced they were leaving because DH had "lectured" him. (DH actually apologized for his outburst and explained to my brother he felt our home was disrespected. My bro walked away at that point.) DH came in and my brother and SIL began yelling at DH. He yelled back while they were leaving. My mom however, decided she wasn't leaving until the dishes were done, all while telling us she had no idea it had rained over the past 3 days, which could not have been true as they only live 1 hour away. DH told her to get her head out of her ass. DH told her to leave, she said call the cops, he said fine, she got mad and finally left.
My dad texted me 2 days later telling me DH needs to grow up, they did not disrespect our home and I can call if I want to talk to them. I did not respond. Prior to this, I was ready to cut them off but had put it off at DH's suggestion. Over the weekend, I posted a picture of DH and LO on fb and my brother made a comment regarding "the incident" with no context. I deleted it and sent him a private message telling him if he wanted to talk about it, fb was not the place. We got in to it and I told him I was done having a relationship with him. Today my dad texted me again telling me they can't believe I let DH talk to my mom that way and how I am a disappointment and I don't respect them and they didn't raise me right.
So, I feel like I have to respond at this point since they will not just leave me alone. I'm not entirely sure how to respond so I'm looking for some advice.
