Decided to start a new thread because the last one went off topic. Will post link
UD: So it's T-minus a little more than a week till we move states/I start new job. DH's job is going very well (he was previously laid off due to company downsizing but found a new position rather quickly, but new position is work-at-home and will be more profitable for him if we move to urban environment because he'll have more business connections. We are currently rural). We are renting to begin with because once I got the job offer, we didn't have enough time to close on a house, even though we did get the final approval on a new mortgage. We applied for and got approval on our rental (never thought we wouldn't), it's in a great community. DH and I are happy.
ODS got his acceptance to start at the school that the last thread was about. This ended up being another mini battle between SIL and our family because she was SURE we didn't get in because they already drew the lottery numbers for the positions for next year. My response was: "we were told to come in for interview, we weren't told about a wait list, and we weren't given a lottery number. So preemptively I think he's in, especially since they didn't let in anyone from (next grade level)'s lottery, it's probably because ODS is taking that spot." Her response was to the extent of, it doesn't work that way, you can't be in yet etc. DH and I just shut it down saying that we'll know more after the interview. And sure enough, it worked out just the way I thought it would.
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Current issue, and this may def resemble an ongoing pattern. I need help with what to say in the moment, because that's where I falter. I DONT want to come across as rude or harsh, but I also want to have normal boundaries.
Example: last night SIL decides to do "a simple Google search" for daycares for YDS, and she emails DH and I with the results and prices. Psst. We've enrolled our kids in daycare before! We know how it works! I know how to operate search engines! I found this really degrading/her treating us like children that can't possibly handle things without her assistance. Regardless of the fact that we've been running our lives successfully for the past 30+ years without her help and we've done fine!
In the moment, as she was describing that "you have to get on the wait list early" I said "yes, that's how all daycares work. We did this when we enrolled ODS in (name of daycare) when he was younger."
I still can't tell if she thinks she's actually being helpful/we're new to the area so simply compiling a list or if she really doesn't think we can do it ourselves and need her help. I truly don't know her motives.
To me, it feels like she thinks we're incompetent but I don't know. And perception can be biased/not factually based.
Please help give me ammo. We'll be living 30 mins from her at the least, more with traffic, so a comfortable distance. I want to handle this with class and grace but not be treated like a pushover. Not trying to burn bridges but I do have my rights to privacy and autonomy.
And for sure, DH didn't ask her to Google search daycares. This interaction didn't happen over email. We were sitting around the table and looking up/discussing different things when she decided to start Google searching.
UD: So it's T-minus a little more than a week till we move states/I start new job. DH's job is going very well (he was previously laid off due to company downsizing but found a new position rather quickly, but new position is work-at-home and will be more profitable for him if we move to urban environment because he'll have more business connections. We are currently rural). We are renting to begin with because once I got the job offer, we didn't have enough time to close on a house, even though we did get the final approval on a new mortgage. We applied for and got approval on our rental (never thought we wouldn't), it's in a great community. DH and I are happy.
ODS got his acceptance to start at the school that the last thread was about. This ended up being another mini battle between SIL and our family because she was SURE we didn't get in because they already drew the lottery numbers for the positions for next year. My response was: "we were told to come in for interview, we weren't told about a wait list, and we weren't given a lottery number. So preemptively I think he's in, especially since they didn't let in anyone from (next grade level)'s lottery, it's probably because ODS is taking that spot." Her response was to the extent of, it doesn't work that way, you can't be in yet etc. DH and I just shut it down saying that we'll know more after the interview. And sure enough, it worked out just the way I thought it would.
----
Current issue, and this may def resemble an ongoing pattern. I need help with what to say in the moment, because that's where I falter. I DONT want to come across as rude or harsh, but I also want to have normal boundaries.
Example: last night SIL decides to do "a simple Google search" for daycares for YDS, and she emails DH and I with the results and prices. Psst. We've enrolled our kids in daycare before! We know how it works! I know how to operate search engines! I found this really degrading/her treating us like children that can't possibly handle things without her assistance. Regardless of the fact that we've been running our lives successfully for the past 30+ years without her help and we've done fine!
In the moment, as she was describing that "you have to get on the wait list early" I said "yes, that's how all daycares work. We did this when we enrolled ODS in (name of daycare) when he was younger."
I still can't tell if she thinks she's actually being helpful/we're new to the area so simply compiling a list or if she really doesn't think we can do it ourselves and need her help. I truly don't know her motives.
To me, it feels like she thinks we're incompetent but I don't know. And perception can be biased/not factually based.
Please help give me ammo. We'll be living 30 mins from her at the least, more with traffic, so a comfortable distance. I want to handle this with class and grace but not be treated like a pushover. Not trying to burn bridges but I do have my rights to privacy and autonomy.
And for sure, DH didn't ask her to Google search daycares. This interaction didn't happen over email. We were sitting around the table and looking up/discussing different things when she decided to start Google searching.