I don't really know where to begin on this. My dh and I have been together 5 years married 3. He is a single child to his mother. He's almost 32 and I'm 26.
My mil is a classic narc. (I think) It always has to be her way and if not she will try and argue to prove a non existent point. And by arguing I'm mean raising her voice and repeating the same thong over and over. And when thay doesn't work she will turn the conversation around and try to play the victim.
She always tries to blame me for everything because I stand up for myself. I don't think anyone has really done that because "thays just the way she is" And of course because my dh is finally starting to realize that he doesn't have to be treated like a child and jump when she says jump, it's automatically my fault. I will say I am really good friends with my dss's mom (I didnt know her before meeting my dh) she has brought my mil up and told me stories about her and my mil never "getting along".
Of course I know it's not me that's the problem. My mil doesn't like other women in my dhs life because of the obvious. She's not the center of attention.
My dh and I have had multiple conversations about his mom's unacceptable behavior. For instance if she texts him and he doesn't text back right away she will copy and paste the message and send it to me. If we both don't answer she will text us again asking if we got it. She is she nosy about everything. I got to the point where I don't text her back at all and my dh doesn't until later or the next day sometimes. All she would ever say to me is bring the babies down to visit sometime. <--- (no mention of the other children or us adults) I'm a Sahm and I have no need for my children to go see her without me. We have asked her to babysit a few times so we could go out. Even if it's 2 or 3 weeks in advance she said that she doesn't know what they will be doing that weekend. That's fine with me but don't ask me to bring them down just when it's convenient for you.
It's gotten to the point that if we do see them, usually on a holiday, I rarely talk. She always tries to twist anything I say to make me look like the bad guy.
This is getting long, I apologize. I hoping that my dh is finally starting to see the light but he just needs help shutting her down. I have some links about leave and cleave I am going to send him.
This is the last incident that happened. Her and her new husband came over last night to visit. We were at the table eating and I was helping my twins most of the time. No incidents happened. She did bring up the subject of money which my dh shut down. Not our money she was trying to gossip about someone else. Everything always has to be about money for her. Well, after we ate we were still just sitting at the table instead of in the living room. I thought that was odd bit didn't say anything. Well after I put my twins to bed my dh and I go sit in the living room. Obviously it's more comfortable than dining room chairs. She didn't even come in there she was just trying to talk from one room the the next to my dh. And then they left because it was going to get dark.
Well my dh got a text from her about a camper he posted on CLIMATE for her. He has told her multiple times she needs to download the app so she can do it herself. I guess she didn't like him saying it this time and she blew up. I will post pics of the texts. I know my dh didn't handle it the dwil way but I can see that he is working on shutting her down. Obviously it's all my fault again in her eyes. I am just done. This is long and I can give examples of past problems in the comments. Where do we go from here?
Pictures to follow but I don't know how to post multiple in one comment
My mil is a classic narc. (I think) It always has to be her way and if not she will try and argue to prove a non existent point. And by arguing I'm mean raising her voice and repeating the same thong over and over. And when thay doesn't work she will turn the conversation around and try to play the victim.
She always tries to blame me for everything because I stand up for myself. I don't think anyone has really done that because "thays just the way she is" And of course because my dh is finally starting to realize that he doesn't have to be treated like a child and jump when she says jump, it's automatically my fault. I will say I am really good friends with my dss's mom (I didnt know her before meeting my dh) she has brought my mil up and told me stories about her and my mil never "getting along".
Of course I know it's not me that's the problem. My mil doesn't like other women in my dhs life because of the obvious. She's not the center of attention.
My dh and I have had multiple conversations about his mom's unacceptable behavior. For instance if she texts him and he doesn't text back right away she will copy and paste the message and send it to me. If we both don't answer she will text us again asking if we got it. She is she nosy about everything. I got to the point where I don't text her back at all and my dh doesn't until later or the next day sometimes. All she would ever say to me is bring the babies down to visit sometime. <--- (no mention of the other children or us adults) I'm a Sahm and I have no need for my children to go see her without me. We have asked her to babysit a few times so we could go out. Even if it's 2 or 3 weeks in advance she said that she doesn't know what they will be doing that weekend. That's fine with me but don't ask me to bring them down just when it's convenient for you.
It's gotten to the point that if we do see them, usually on a holiday, I rarely talk. She always tries to twist anything I say to make me look like the bad guy.
This is getting long, I apologize. I hoping that my dh is finally starting to see the light but he just needs help shutting her down. I have some links about leave and cleave I am going to send him.
This is the last incident that happened. Her and her new husband came over last night to visit. We were at the table eating and I was helping my twins most of the time. No incidents happened. She did bring up the subject of money which my dh shut down. Not our money she was trying to gossip about someone else. Everything always has to be about money for her. Well, after we ate we were still just sitting at the table instead of in the living room. I thought that was odd bit didn't say anything. Well after I put my twins to bed my dh and I go sit in the living room. Obviously it's more comfortable than dining room chairs. She didn't even come in there she was just trying to talk from one room the the next to my dh. And then they left because it was going to get dark.
Well my dh got a text from her about a camper he posted on CLIMATE for her. He has told her multiple times she needs to download the app so she can do it herself. I guess she didn't like him saying it this time and she blew up. I will post pics of the texts. I know my dh didn't handle it the dwil way but I can see that he is working on shutting her down. Obviously it's all my fault again in her eyes. I am just done. This is long and I can give examples of past problems in the comments. Where do we go from here?
Pictures to follow but I don't know how to post multiple in one comment
