Old member, new name. Sticky read.
My better judgement is being fogged with some not so awesome news.
BG: Same old story. Great relationship with MIL prior to birth of my DD. Boundary stomps left and right since her birth. DH goes back and forth from being a gold star guy to a DuH. MIL has been on ITO since early November. She showed up at family Christmas unannouced, but didn't speak to me. If you need anymore background, feel free to ask.
FF to now: I took my DD in for her 9 month checkup. She has always been tiny, but now fell to the 1.65 percentile for weight, 4th for height. Her doctor ran some tests, and her thyroid test came back abnormal. She's been diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. Very uncommon and dangerous in infants, due to brain development.
We got this news early last week and couldn't meet with the doctor until late last week. We were freaking ourselves out with Dr. Google searches. MIL is in the medical field and also has thyroid issues of her own, so DH suggested we ask her so we would quit freaking out over nothing, or prepare ourselves for what's to come. I agreed. I reached out to her last Wednesday, and didn't hear from her until last night (since then, we were able to meet with her doctor, who had SOME answers for us, but not a lot. We have to wait to hear from the Endocrinologist to schedule and appointment).
Since finding DWIL, I handle MIL with a no bullshit attitude. But I admit, with this entire situation, I failed. Hard. I recognize that I shouldn't have brought her into the situation, but we were desparate for answers.
We spoke on the phone last night. I filled her in on what is going on. I told her that we're waiting for the Endo to call us to schedule an appointment. First, she told me that was unacceptable, that I should call them. I have no idea where DD is being referred to. Plus, they'll call! If her doctor thought this was life or death, we would have been admitted. We go to the best doctor in the area. Then, she said 3 times that she NEEDS to be there, since she is in the medical field. I totally JADE'd. I got off the phone in tears. She then talks to DH. He was firm with her and asked her what she would have said to his paternal grandmother if she would have demanded such thing. She got angry and hungup.
What do we do now? Back to ITO? Cut her some slack?