I may or may not have posted background on my FOO on here, but the short version is my mom was an alcoholic and slowly killed herself with it, passed in 2010 leaving my 18 year old brother, who hadn't finished high school because she never made him go to school or do anything.
I set him up in a guest house near a community college / high school, gave him my old car, food allowance, got him a cell phone, and asked that he finish school. After 2 years of screwing around while I supported him, and not working OR finishing school, I had to cut him off. I gave the school a cashier's check to cover the GED and CO. About a year later he got his GED, and ever since he's been in and out of low level retail jobs, not really doing anything.
About 1.5 years ago, my dad decided he needed a roommate to defray some of the costs of his new house, so he offered it to my brother (he isn't my brother's dad but they get along). Brother moved in. Brother lost job. Fast forward to now, brother gets a few more jobs, loses them. Is now $1800 behind in rent. My Dad called me this morning to give me the heads up that he's given brother 30 days notice.
This was my reaction: "Well, he's 24 years old, an adult, and I didn't give birth to him and it's your house."
In the past, I'd have cried and probably begged Dad to keep him, and probably ended up paying off brother's debt and offering to pay his rent until he could "figure it out and afford it himself." Which, obviously, is...never.
I'm pissed, sure. This kid has been handed everything - I even paid for a year of therapy for him, and he just stopped showing up. I still pay for his cell because it is only like $9 a month on my plan, and that's fine, but, geez, you think he would figure his shit out.
But I'm not going to bail him out. I spent my whole life bailing my mom out (paying her rent, fixing her state benefits when she'd "forget" (read: blow off) turning in paperwork on time, getting groceries delivered so I was sure there was food in the house for her and my brother). There is absolutely work out there if you want it (he's proven that since he blows through like 5 jobs per year).
Seems like his priority is hanging out with friends and "having fun" instead of working. Well, whatever. He is still driving my old car that I gave him, and that's a '95 Toyota with like 220,000 miles on it, and when it blows up, I've made it real clear I'm not getting him another one.
I've got a baby now, and that's my priority. Sorry, dude.
There is 10% of my brain that is screaming at me to go rescue him. I'm telling it to sit down.
On the MIL front - DH has been so busy he's just not dealt with it (we're dealing with the tax stuff on our end, but he's not dealing with MIL). Weird - she hasn't tried to call or text since that fated 4am text that woke us all up. It is making me nervous, for sure. Saw youngest SIL over the weekend, she said MIL hadn't said anything, but also admitted she had been ignoring MIL's calls for like a week, too. Hmmm.....