I need advice on how to handle a situation with my parents that just came up this morning. Things have been going well with my parents. We just saw them on Saturday and had a great drama-free time. My mother texted me to see if we wanted to have a BBQ at our house for Mother's Day. DH and I have talked about Mother's day a lot lately because my ideal mother's day would be spending it at home with LO and DH. Traditionally, before LO, we would go to brunch with my family and then go to a greenhouse. DH expressed feelings that his ideal mother's day would not be spent with in-laws and his side of the family all spend it with their spouses, but it would be up to me.
So I responded to my mother that a BBQ wouldn't work because Saturday is nephew's birthday party and that I would like to spend my mother's day being pampered at home in my PJs.
My mom's response: "Funny, I never got to. I always thought it was important to be with my mom." I did not response to that text.
My dad then texted me an hour later and said "Mom is upset that you don't want to spend a few hours with her on Mother's Day. I would have thought you would understand what being a mother is like. She is not asking for much or even equal time between her and DH's mom. She is more upset that your relationship with her is drastically different from years ago. If she never pushed you for time or if you didn't need something, I'm not sure we would ever see you. You need to think about all the things your mom has done for you over the years and how much she loves you."
How do I respond to this? Or do I BH?