Hello DWIL,
we have had quite a few boundary stomps by PILs in the last 18 months. I've posted before about an issue, can't link the post as I'm mobile.
I'll just give the short key points related to the new topic I am pondering:
- PIL were put in TO from DD and myself until recently (> 3 month to 4 month TO). DH maintained ELC and now sees the BS for what it is.
- DH and I are now on the same page regarding "we don't have to have contact".
The new issue:
There is another of those yearly big family get-togethers coming up this summer. It will unfortunately take place near where we live (another family is hosting). I'd actually like to attend because there are awesome family members coming.
PIL have to drive 5-6 hrs one way to get here, it's too far to go home for the night and come back for the second day of the event. I fear PIL assume they will stay with us which is what usually happened in the past. We don't want that.
Shall DH or myself send out an email to PIL to let them know they need to get a hotel, mention it when it comes up in another call between DH and PIL, what is the best course of action /non-action here?
Our aim is to keep (E)LC or whatever we're comfortable with with PIL, so I don't wish to napalm that bridge while we are fully prepared to handle guilt trips over this should they occur. My last call to PIL cancelling a visit went surprisingly well.
Thank you very much for your time!
we have had quite a few boundary stomps by PILs in the last 18 months. I've posted before about an issue, can't link the post as I'm mobile.
I'll just give the short key points related to the new topic I am pondering:
- PIL were put in TO from DD and myself until recently (> 3 month to 4 month TO). DH maintained ELC and now sees the BS for what it is.
- DH and I are now on the same page regarding "we don't have to have contact".
The new issue:
There is another of those yearly big family get-togethers coming up this summer. It will unfortunately take place near where we live (another family is hosting). I'd actually like to attend because there are awesome family members coming.
PIL have to drive 5-6 hrs one way to get here, it's too far to go home for the night and come back for the second day of the event. I fear PIL assume they will stay with us which is what usually happened in the past. We don't want that.
Shall DH or myself send out an email to PIL to let them know they need to get a hotel, mention it when it comes up in another call between DH and PIL, what is the best course of action /non-action here?
Our aim is to keep (E)LC or whatever we're comfortable with with PIL, so I don't wish to napalm that bridge while we are fully prepared to handle guilt trips over this should they occur. My last call to PIL cancelling a visit went surprisingly well.
Thank you very much for your time!