Old user new name, old one gave away too much. Please DWIL I need to know whether I should stand my ground or step down.
ILs burned a bridge last Summer. I went LC and DH, ODS (3), YDS (2) and I will not be visiting their home again. Because they live hours away where there is literally nothing to do, it means we are never going to visit them again. But we host them about 3 times a year. Now I say "we" but being a SAHM, I end up doing pretty much everything; meal planning, cleaning, picking up, etc. Before their last visit DH and I agree that I would not be hosting them if he weren't around. He ended up leaving me alone with them and went spend some time on the computer. I told him it was a breach of our agreement and if he didn't want to host his parents they didn't have to come at all. He said he understood and took over.
Now they are coming this weekend. After their last visit DH and I had agreed from then on he would provide me ahead with his shopping list for the weekend as I would not make an extra trip. He is also responsible to clean the house and entertain. It is now Thursday evning. My shopping is done for the week. I asked him what his plan was for the weekend and he said he would like to try to work on the cooler on the roof since his parents were here. He asked if I was ok with that. I said I wasn't. He got pissy. Here's the convo:
DH: I would like to work on the roof this weekend since my parents will be here.
Me: How long would I be in charge of the kids and your parents?
DH: I don't know.
Me: Well is it going to be hours?
DH: Yeah, but it depends, you can have them watching the kids and do whatever.
Me: I am not comfortable with that. We have agreed YOU were to host your parents and you know I am not comfortable with them having unsupervised time with the kids. That's not going to work.
DH: *pissy face*
Me: And since you haven't provided me with your shopping list for this weekend, we don't have much to host with. There will be some grocery shopping to do. Do you remember what we had agreed on? You do the meal planning, shopping, etc. You are hosting.
DH: I don't remember me being responsible for the meals.
Me: You are. I am not taking the kids on am extra shopping trip tomorrow because you forgot.
DH: *sulking silence*
Me: I feel you are trying to change the terms we agreed on and I am not ok with that. You are hosting your parents, if you don't want to, you can reschedule or cancel.
My dilemma is; he has been working on the roof for a week now. I am grateful for that. But it also puts me in a position of ''childcare'' whenever he is working on it, on top of my full week as a SAHM. I am the end of my rope and it's too much. He knows that. What he thought would be a 3 hour project has consumed all of last weekend and every evening since. He is getting frustrated with it taking so long so I told him to hire someone to finish the job. He refuses and says he started it and will see the end of it.
Well. What do? Do I need to be more understanding or I stand my ground?