So I've lurked for a long time now and this is my first post.
My mother has always had a problem with boundaries and we've gotten into it many times about this. Basically whenever she's doing a favor for me she feels entitled to do things the way she wants instead of the way I want. For example she wanted to pick out the color of my bridesmaids dresses when I was getting married. That did not happen.
Anyway to get to the point,my husband and I have an explicit rule that if somebody is driving my son they are not to text or talk on the phone while operating the vehicle. (Distracted driving). Today my mom did me a favor and watched my son (22months) while I was working. When I went to go pick him up from her house I remembered I had fallen this morning and thought maybe I should call the nurse line while I was near the hospital. (I'm also 38 1/2 weeks pregnant.) So I called the nurse line and they told me to go in immediately and get monitored. My mom insisted on canceling her plans for tonight and driving me and my son to the hospital where my husband was going to meet us, even though I told her I could go myself. She drove my car with my son and I, and while on the way to the hospital her phone rang, she picked it up, and proceeded to talk on it for a good 5 minutes telling my brother that I was on my way to the hospital.
So I'm PISSED! #1 because she knows our rules and here she is breaking them right in front of me. I was dumbfounded and kind of wanted to see what she would do, but she just kept talking.
Secondly, apparently she called several people to tell them I was on my way to the hospital, including my brother, my aunt, and all the people at my step dads office. (She did this while i was outside w my ds as she didn't want him back inside since they had just cleaned up.). Talk about invasion of privacy. (This has also happened before.)
So while on the phone she missed the light turning green and I had to yell at her to go.
I know most people talk and text on the phone all the time, but I am not willing to take that risk with my son in the car and I am not willing to let him be in cars with people where people are willing to take that risk. Therefore very few people will be able to drive my son. I thought I could trust her and I thought she understood my rules and here she goes and breaks them right in front of me. What would you do? I was planning on having her help out when the baby was born with my son but now I'm seriously uncomfortable. And she'll throw a hissy fit if I call her on this, and play the victim like she canceled her plans and so I should be grateful. And I am grateful that she loves my son and is good to him; however I am not happy about her driving while distracted with me and my son in the car.
What would you do? I need some outside perspective. (Please be kind...I'm due in 12 days and my hormones are wild and I'm crying all the time)
My mother has always had a problem with boundaries and we've gotten into it many times about this. Basically whenever she's doing a favor for me she feels entitled to do things the way she wants instead of the way I want. For example she wanted to pick out the color of my bridesmaids dresses when I was getting married. That did not happen.
Anyway to get to the point,my husband and I have an explicit rule that if somebody is driving my son they are not to text or talk on the phone while operating the vehicle. (Distracted driving). Today my mom did me a favor and watched my son (22months) while I was working. When I went to go pick him up from her house I remembered I had fallen this morning and thought maybe I should call the nurse line while I was near the hospital. (I'm also 38 1/2 weeks pregnant.) So I called the nurse line and they told me to go in immediately and get monitored. My mom insisted on canceling her plans for tonight and driving me and my son to the hospital where my husband was going to meet us, even though I told her I could go myself. She drove my car with my son and I, and while on the way to the hospital her phone rang, she picked it up, and proceeded to talk on it for a good 5 minutes telling my brother that I was on my way to the hospital.
So I'm PISSED! #1 because she knows our rules and here she is breaking them right in front of me. I was dumbfounded and kind of wanted to see what she would do, but she just kept talking.
Secondly, apparently she called several people to tell them I was on my way to the hospital, including my brother, my aunt, and all the people at my step dads office. (She did this while i was outside w my ds as she didn't want him back inside since they had just cleaned up.). Talk about invasion of privacy. (This has also happened before.)
So while on the phone she missed the light turning green and I had to yell at her to go.
I know most people talk and text on the phone all the time, but I am not willing to take that risk with my son in the car and I am not willing to let him be in cars with people where people are willing to take that risk. Therefore very few people will be able to drive my son. I thought I could trust her and I thought she understood my rules and here she goes and breaks them right in front of me. What would you do? I was planning on having her help out when the baby was born with my son but now I'm seriously uncomfortable. And she'll throw a hissy fit if I call her on this, and play the victim like she canceled her plans and so I should be grateful. And I am grateful that she loves my son and is good to him; however I am not happy about her driving while distracted with me and my son in the car.
What would you do? I need some outside perspective. (Please be kind...I'm due in 12 days and my hormones are wild and I'm crying all the time)