Is my mother trying to condition my son?

My mom is narc- we see her often on our terms- she isn't allowed alone with my children- etc. she has a very special relationship with my 2yo. Here are 2 scenarios I can't stop thinking about that further qualify my stance on her not being alone with him- but I can't stop thinking that maybe we should go ELC after these.


1. Supposedly my son hit her when they were in his room playing- and she said "how would you like it if I hit you" and he responded that he'd tell his mommy. She thought that was bratty of him (of course he shouldnt have hit her- but why would she be mad that he tell me if someone hits him- we have a no hitting policy.


2. Last week she came over a snuck a piece of candy to my son and told him not to tell me. She asked me ahead of time- she just wanted to see what he'd do. I was curious too, as I wanted to use it as moment to say "we don't keep secrets from mom and dad at this point". He instantly told me and she got upset.


She clearly favors him over my dd and never did stuff like this with her. My dad died a couple years ago- and she's been bsc all her life- but way worse since he died. It makes me feel like.. She wants him to favor her and she's trying to trump our relationship. What do you all think?


Edited to fix typos