My SO and I have been together for over a year and a half. We've lived together for over a year and are expecting our LO early July. Our relationship has had its complications, ups and downs etc, but we truly are happy together and beyond excited for our little girl to be here.
His parents are an issue. First of all, they have NEVER met me. At first I blamed majority of this on my SO, but as time has passed I have seen that they legitimately have no interest in doing so. At first I was a lot more understanding of where they were coming from. They are very close with my SO ex wife and attend the same religious congregation still. (They are JWs, I am not, my SO is not practicing either.) My SO left his marriage (which was very toxic waaaaay before me) to be with me. So I understood how there were some hard feelings, that they don't agree with divorce, etc.
I also need to add they're in their 60s but are in very poor health. (Cancer twice for his mom, his dad has a tumor and just went through hip replacement.)
Still and all, I have always tried to do the right thing whenever I can. I've sent food/baked goods to their house numerous times, and every time I take a trip to the NYC area (where we're both from originally- live about 2 hrs away) I always make sure I get them some stuff too (we're both Italian so pastries, cold cuts, bread etc). They have never even said thank you, smh.
My SO's brothers girlfriend has told me (even recently) that whenever my name comes up in conversation or my upcoming due date comes up they act like they heard nothing. Basically like I don't exist. It hurts me more for my daughter than anything, my only close family member, my mother, lives in Florida. (We live in CT.) Everything I have for my child has come out of my own pocket or my mother's. Not that I want anything from them- except for them to care about their grand daughter!
I am now 38 weeks pregnant. Our daughter can be born any day now. They have never asked how I am/she is doing (mind you they only live 30 mins away)... And my understanding is wearing out. I take it personally at this point for me and for my baby! I absolutely do not want my daughter around them without me, and honestly am not sure if I want to be around them at all. Am I wrong for having this much animosity?
I guess it's weighing so heavily on me because of my SO. I 100% blame him for where he went wrong, but at the same time is there really much he can do when they are the ones who want nothing to do with me? Their health has gotten worse recently and I see how much it hurts him![:(]( ":(")
so I try not to bring it up ever. But with my due date approaching...
I feel as though I should have some sort of plan in motion of how to handle this. My SO brought up them coming to the hospital when baby's born and I was kind of thrown off, because I don't know how to nicely say I don't want them there. I think it's a private moment and I don't know them so why should I want to share that moment with them? On the other hand, do I just let them visit and get it over with? One thing is for sure, my daughter will absolutely not be going to their house without me present... It's non negotiable for me. I don't know how to unload all of this onto my SO.
I'm curious how some of you ladies would handle this. Advice is appreciated!!
His parents are an issue. First of all, they have NEVER met me. At first I blamed majority of this on my SO, but as time has passed I have seen that they legitimately have no interest in doing so. At first I was a lot more understanding of where they were coming from. They are very close with my SO ex wife and attend the same religious congregation still. (They are JWs, I am not, my SO is not practicing either.) My SO left his marriage (which was very toxic waaaaay before me) to be with me. So I understood how there were some hard feelings, that they don't agree with divorce, etc.
I also need to add they're in their 60s but are in very poor health. (Cancer twice for his mom, his dad has a tumor and just went through hip replacement.)
Still and all, I have always tried to do the right thing whenever I can. I've sent food/baked goods to their house numerous times, and every time I take a trip to the NYC area (where we're both from originally- live about 2 hrs away) I always make sure I get them some stuff too (we're both Italian so pastries, cold cuts, bread etc). They have never even said thank you, smh.
My SO's brothers girlfriend has told me (even recently) that whenever my name comes up in conversation or my upcoming due date comes up they act like they heard nothing. Basically like I don't exist. It hurts me more for my daughter than anything, my only close family member, my mother, lives in Florida. (We live in CT.) Everything I have for my child has come out of my own pocket or my mother's. Not that I want anything from them- except for them to care about their grand daughter!
I am now 38 weeks pregnant. Our daughter can be born any day now. They have never asked how I am/she is doing (mind you they only live 30 mins away)... And my understanding is wearing out. I take it personally at this point for me and for my baby! I absolutely do not want my daughter around them without me, and honestly am not sure if I want to be around them at all. Am I wrong for having this much animosity?
I guess it's weighing so heavily on me because of my SO. I 100% blame him for where he went wrong, but at the same time is there really much he can do when they are the ones who want nothing to do with me? Their health has gotten worse recently and I see how much it hurts him
so I try not to bring it up ever. But with my due date approaching... I feel as though I should have some sort of plan in motion of how to handle this. My SO brought up them coming to the hospital when baby's born and I was kind of thrown off, because I don't know how to nicely say I don't want them there. I think it's a private moment and I don't know them so why should I want to share that moment with them? On the other hand, do I just let them visit and get it over with? One thing is for sure, my daughter will absolutely not be going to their house without me present... It's non negotiable for me. I don't know how to unload all of this onto my SO.
I'm curious how some of you ladies would handle this. Advice is appreciated!!