Old lurker, new account, I know the drill. I'll try not to get this too long but things got kind of crazy last night.
DH and I have had a pretty decent relationship with PILs for the most part. They do great with our kids, very respectful of boundaries, and the one time they crossed was dealt with swiftly, with them apologizing and acknowledging the stomp and it hasn't happened again.
On to the drama... We are moving into a rental across town this week. DH and I have moved about 80% of our stuff throughout the past couple weeks and have mostly big furniture items left. FIL offered to help him move stuff and MIL offered to watch DS1 so I could finish packing. All this goes well and we stop for the night and go to PILs for supper and to pick up DS1. We has a good night and as we are rearranging car seats (moving them from DH'S car back to my van, which had been used to move stuff) FIL asked if we'd picked up DH's old Nintendo. Nope... but it's not there.
Now, I need to mention "Tina". Tina is a woman who was fostered by MILs parents. They asked MIL and FIL if they could possibly take her in for a couple months because she needed to get back on her feet. PILS set a rent price with her but didn't draw up a contract (even though DH told them they should). Tina has some mental issues and is basically a teenager although she is much older than that. She took furniture and decorations from around the house for her room, which MIL spoke to her about, explaining that she can't just take stuff that isn't hers. MIL had to pull teeth to get rent from her. They also have security cameras in their home and she unplugged them while they were on vacation, which started a great shit storm between Tina and PILs and basically led to her being kicked out and moving all of her stuff out.
Remember where I mentioned that Tina took stuff from PILs? DH and my first thought is that Tina took his Nintendo with the rest of her stuff, even though it was on the other side if the garage and in a box with our last name on it- the box is still there. DH mentioned this to FIL and he. Went. Ballistic.
I could hear them arguing in the garage about it and FIL yelling that "I'm handling it, not you, and not anybody else". I came back inside to get the kids, they're still arguing (MIL Has DS1 in the kitchen away from all the yelling and DS2 is in his carseat) with FIL saying "you can't just say she has your stuff. DH, you're not getting involved and that's final." I don't know why that made me so mad but I told FIL DH is an adult and you don't get to dictate this sort of thing especially when it's our property- that we need to be involved in this because it's our stuff. He got mad and stomped out. DH apologized to MIL and she started yelling about how stressful it is dealing with Tina and DH says "why is it stressful? Just kick her out!" Then MIL says that Tina and her bf were sending FIL threatening text messages.
Cue DH and I both telling MIL 1) WHAT THE HELL because our kids have been over there and nobody thought to tell us FIL was threatened (she doesn't know what or how many times because he won't show her and says it's "taken care of"). FIL comes back in and DH starts telling him we CANNOT have the kids over here at least until she's gone because HE IS BEING THREATENED and he walks right back out and bolts down the street. So DH helps me takes the kids out, MIL comes outside too and while I'm putting the kids in DH tells her it's not that we want to keep the kids away from them but we can't have them over there while Tina/her stuff is still there. I leave and DH says he's waiting for his dad to get home to explain what he just told MIL.
Instead he gets home ten minutes later than me with texts from FIL basically saying "go home" and "you're not a fucking psychologist, stop trying to figure things out". He also sent a pic of DS1 holding MILS stuffed animal bunny with the caption "you don't respect me". So.
Right now we're taking a break (not sure how long) and they will NOT be having any time at PILS until Tina is gone, maybe longer. DH said he doesn't want FIL watching DS1 for a long time, and neither MIL, and definitely not alone or at their house.
I know DH is very upset with FIL and MIL and he'll stick to his guns on this but i'm wondering if there's really anything else we can do/ should do besides the TO... mostly for DH. I know this whole situation hurt him pretty badly. If you made it this far... thanks for reading.
DH and I have had a pretty decent relationship with PILs for the most part. They do great with our kids, very respectful of boundaries, and the one time they crossed was dealt with swiftly, with them apologizing and acknowledging the stomp and it hasn't happened again.
On to the drama... We are moving into a rental across town this week. DH and I have moved about 80% of our stuff throughout the past couple weeks and have mostly big furniture items left. FIL offered to help him move stuff and MIL offered to watch DS1 so I could finish packing. All this goes well and we stop for the night and go to PILs for supper and to pick up DS1. We has a good night and as we are rearranging car seats (moving them from DH'S car back to my van, which had been used to move stuff) FIL asked if we'd picked up DH's old Nintendo. Nope... but it's not there.
Now, I need to mention "Tina". Tina is a woman who was fostered by MILs parents. They asked MIL and FIL if they could possibly take her in for a couple months because she needed to get back on her feet. PILS set a rent price with her but didn't draw up a contract (even though DH told them they should). Tina has some mental issues and is basically a teenager although she is much older than that. She took furniture and decorations from around the house for her room, which MIL spoke to her about, explaining that she can't just take stuff that isn't hers. MIL had to pull teeth to get rent from her. They also have security cameras in their home and she unplugged them while they were on vacation, which started a great shit storm between Tina and PILs and basically led to her being kicked out and moving all of her stuff out.
Remember where I mentioned that Tina took stuff from PILs? DH and my first thought is that Tina took his Nintendo with the rest of her stuff, even though it was on the other side if the garage and in a box with our last name on it- the box is still there. DH mentioned this to FIL and he. Went. Ballistic.
I could hear them arguing in the garage about it and FIL yelling that "I'm handling it, not you, and not anybody else". I came back inside to get the kids, they're still arguing (MIL Has DS1 in the kitchen away from all the yelling and DS2 is in his carseat) with FIL saying "you can't just say she has your stuff. DH, you're not getting involved and that's final." I don't know why that made me so mad but I told FIL DH is an adult and you don't get to dictate this sort of thing especially when it's our property- that we need to be involved in this because it's our stuff. He got mad and stomped out. DH apologized to MIL and she started yelling about how stressful it is dealing with Tina and DH says "why is it stressful? Just kick her out!" Then MIL says that Tina and her bf were sending FIL threatening text messages.
Cue DH and I both telling MIL 1) WHAT THE HELL because our kids have been over there and nobody thought to tell us FIL was threatened (she doesn't know what or how many times because he won't show her and says it's "taken care of"). FIL comes back in and DH starts telling him we CANNOT have the kids over here at least until she's gone because HE IS BEING THREATENED and he walks right back out and bolts down the street. So DH helps me takes the kids out, MIL comes outside too and while I'm putting the kids in DH tells her it's not that we want to keep the kids away from them but we can't have them over there while Tina/her stuff is still there. I leave and DH says he's waiting for his dad to get home to explain what he just told MIL.
Instead he gets home ten minutes later than me with texts from FIL basically saying "go home" and "you're not a fucking psychologist, stop trying to figure things out". He also sent a pic of DS1 holding MILS stuffed animal bunny with the caption "you don't respect me". So.
Right now we're taking a break (not sure how long) and they will NOT be having any time at PILS until Tina is gone, maybe longer. DH said he doesn't want FIL watching DS1 for a long time, and neither MIL, and definitely not alone or at their house.
I know DH is very upset with FIL and MIL and he'll stick to his guns on this but i'm wondering if there's really anything else we can do/ should do besides the TO... mostly for DH. I know this whole situation hurt him pretty badly. If you made it this far... thanks for reading.