As the birth of my daughter nears, I feel more and more that I'm being cruel to my mother.
My mother suffers from borderline personality disorder and she's nothing but drama and periodically has psychotic episodes that includes one or all of; self beating, screaming, breaking things, faking a seziure, calling the police with making up shit and always, always playing the victim. She refuses treatment and medication.
Unfortuntaly some of my younger sisters display abnormal behavior and one of them definately displays signs of borderline as well. I'm oldest of 5 and there's 16 year gap between me and my youngest sister. My mom's disorder has worsend over the years and I feel like my younger sisters were effected by her disease more than I was. I moved out at 18 which I think is when her disorder was getting worse and most of my years at home, I was rarely home because of all the extra curiculum activities I was always involved in.
Long story short, I cut my mother and 3 of my sisters out of my life about a year and half ago after they started a big family drama right before my wedding, said the nastiest things about my husband and didn't show up to my wedding!!! which was very akward because I had a small wedding with only immediate family members and two close friends - so my wedding was attended only by my husband's family, my two friends and one of my sister's (the most normal one who's close in age to me) and brother in law.
about 2 months ago, one of my sisters texted me saying they want to be a part of my pregnancy and child's life and that my mom who's currently living with her wants to come visit me. But when I brought up what they had done and said and how they'd hurt me, she didn't take any responsiblity for her actions and even stated that "she didn't do anything wrong!" so, I had to ask them to stay away ouf of my life as my focus now is my daughter and her well being and can't welcome any drama back into my life.
I know I did the right thing for me and my new family, but there's smothing deep down that makes me feel like my mom dispite her illness has the right to see her first grandkid. My husband disagrees with me!
I'm so torn between the decision of letting her back in my life or just focusing on my daughter, husband and new chapter in my life as a mom.
Sorry for the long post 