My BIL is 28, no kids, no girlfriend. He moved to the state we live in so to get a better life. Where we live is a HCOL community. DH told BIL his move was not a joy ride and as soon as he arrived, get the ball rolling on job hunting. When BIL moved, he moved to our home. Living with us was for the time he was looking for a job, and when he got one, work three months, and then find his own place. DH told him although we were in a HCOL area, there were places an hour away he could look into for housing. With his degree, he should be able to get a job which would pay the bills. He moved in March last year and is still here.
I work and so does DH. We have three kids and when they are not in school, they are at friends. Three weeks after BIL moved, I asked him how the job hunt was going. He claimed it was rough and he sent out replies, but hasn't gotten an interview. I told him it won't be easy, but keep trying and something would come.
Strike one
Month and a half later, I asked him how the hunt was going. He said the same thing as above. But he lied to me. In the newspaper, there was a two page section of jobs for a new company. I knew about the company and had a friend who applied for one of the positions. The deadline was two weeks later. I asked him if he applied to the company for a position, which he said yes, and went on to tell me how he got an email response back from someone saying they received his application and would get back to him. He lied. The deadline was not up yet, the ad stated that only suitable applicants would be acknowleged, and when I asked my friend who applied, they told me how they have a connection in the company, and nobody contacts you by email when you submit your application. Learning he lied, I called him out on it. He said he did not lie and he submitted an application. I told DH he lied, and that you are not emailed when you send your application.
Strike 2 (yep I love baseball)
When the months kept passing, I decided to woman the hell up in my house. I said to him I knew someone who is a gardener and landscaper. I would ask them if they need an extra hand. He said ok. I called the person up and they said they would take him on. He got the job. So I waited for three months, knowing how we indicated to him, he was to be out after three months working. The dude didn't last two months in the job. He was always late, left peoples homes dirty, talked back to the boss and would spend time with the company van in other places, other than where he was to be.
DH decided not to be on his case in moving. Jobs were hard to get and we had no control over them. So DH told BIL, do a part time program that would give him edge over others. He wanted BIL to do a HR course as it would give him a better edge over others who may have working experience, but not HR degree. I asked DH with what money would he be doing such a degree? He said he'll pay for him, as it only cost 4k, and books cost 1k. I told DH hello no because the 5k was our childrens money and it was like a mini investment. He thought it best to help his brother out. I said ok. I'm an ass right?
So BIL is doing the degree.
Strike 3 (should be out now, right?)
He's dirty. He doesn't clean his room, wash his dishes, do his laundry, he eats in his room and leaves crumbs all over. He leaves a glass and plate in his room, he plays loud music, and on weekends sleeps until 2 in the afternoon.
He did the unthinkable. I allowed him to borrow my car to go to classes one day. He hit my car and never told me. I drove to work my car the next day, and got asked my a friend how I got a big ass dent in my bumper. I did not hit anyone. Where the dent was, meant the car was reversed into something. I knew it was BIL. But he couln't help me because he has no job. So I had to pay for my own bumper.
His classes are in the evening. So I told him a day job was what he needed. He looked at us the other day and said he has given up looking for work since May.
What advice can I get?
