So my MOO is in a three month TO for running her mouth and saying some things that, had my daughter overheard, would have been very hurtful about DD's choice of a baby blanket made by a friend instead of the many she made for DD. My parents are usually not terrible boundary stompers and are fairly trainable. MOO would have been a DWIL nightmare in the beginning, but my SOO and BIL got her trained very quickly. My mother is also in the early stages of either dementia or Alzheimers
So we recently found out we're expecting a rainbow surprise, and other than a few close friends, we've told no one. We're telling his family at Thanksgiving. My family is trickier. They live a long plane ride away, but I know if we tell them, they'll want to come to take care of DD at the birth. Uh, no! We're lying about our due date, making it three weeks later than it really is once the TO is broken.
MOO, a retired RN, also provided way too much unwanted advice during my pregnancy with DD. I did okay shutting it down then, but I'll shut that down even better this time. I'm thinking of not even telling them until after 20 weeks when we know everything is good (I'm old and this is high risk), and then keeping the info train very limited.
They are not invited for the birth. No one is. I'm thinking four weeks of family time before visitors, and I intend to make that very firm and non-negotiable.
So that wall of text is to ask, when should I tell them? The TO ends in November. They're already LC because of distance and that's just fine with me.