I have a complicated relationship with my dad. I just don't think he was a great father. He provided for my education up til about high school but was very strict and it was hard for me to make friends and socialize. He would also make fun of my weight and my nose and withhold affection, there was hitting growing up too. He also would hit my mom and has always had a very short temper. He also would send messages to women that my mom found out and confronted him about but I guess she just forgave him and decided to look the other way (this was about 3-4 years ago). When I got to college I kind of wilded out and there was a period that I didn't talk to my family at all for about two years.
Things have mellowed out a bit but to this day I don't trust my dad and don't feel affection towards him. Any feeling I have feels extremely forced - by him. He would guilt trip and say you never visit Etc
Since I had the baby things have been even worse lol. For one thing I don't want my baby alone with him or even my dad around the baby because he's just not a great father or role model. I plan to monitor visits and keep a healthy boundary because I do still want my baby to have a maternal grandpa.
I was scheduled for induction with this pregnancy. I told my mom but didn't want her to tell my dad or anyone else. She did. I had very strong feelings of anxiety over it. The night before they visited. Well my dad just casually and smiling and laughing says oh so you're going to the hospital tomorrow night. This resulted in me actually yelling at him in front of my husband which I've never done. I kind of lost it and kept saying to my mom why did you tell him.
I ended up with an emergency section. WHILE IN THE RECOVERY ROOM I get a phone call from my dad. After taking all of thirty seconds to say congratulations he says we need to have a talk one day I never abused you or anything like that (from texts I had sent my mom explaining why I was feeling so bad... Don't know if she told him or he read her phone). WHILE I WAS IN RECOVERY.
He visits the next day. I'm struggling with breastfeeding. I pull the partition to have privacy. After about two minutes my dad just comes through it and claims that he thought I was done. WTH?
All that notwithstanding I invited him and my mom over the first weekend we were back home. Through my mom they declined, my dad saying his knees hurt and they can't come up our stairs. My dad is a hypochondriac.
A few weeks later he asks if he can visit. I said okay. He was supposed to be at our place at 10. No texts or calls from him. I tried to stay up late despite how exhausted we all were. By midnight I texted saying we were going to sleep, good night. NOTHING FROM HIM.
Despite this all he keeps sending texts over family texting groups saying I miss M when can I see and hold M when will you come over.
I don't know whether to laugh or Cry. Btw there are tons more issues that I didn't discuss here. Needless to say I don't really like him all that much and feel like I'm stuck c
Things have mellowed out a bit but to this day I don't trust my dad and don't feel affection towards him. Any feeling I have feels extremely forced - by him. He would guilt trip and say you never visit Etc
Since I had the baby things have been even worse lol. For one thing I don't want my baby alone with him or even my dad around the baby because he's just not a great father or role model. I plan to monitor visits and keep a healthy boundary because I do still want my baby to have a maternal grandpa.
I was scheduled for induction with this pregnancy. I told my mom but didn't want her to tell my dad or anyone else. She did. I had very strong feelings of anxiety over it. The night before they visited. Well my dad just casually and smiling and laughing says oh so you're going to the hospital tomorrow night. This resulted in me actually yelling at him in front of my husband which I've never done. I kind of lost it and kept saying to my mom why did you tell him.
I ended up with an emergency section. WHILE IN THE RECOVERY ROOM I get a phone call from my dad. After taking all of thirty seconds to say congratulations he says we need to have a talk one day I never abused you or anything like that (from texts I had sent my mom explaining why I was feeling so bad... Don't know if she told him or he read her phone). WHILE I WAS IN RECOVERY.
He visits the next day. I'm struggling with breastfeeding. I pull the partition to have privacy. After about two minutes my dad just comes through it and claims that he thought I was done. WTH?
All that notwithstanding I invited him and my mom over the first weekend we were back home. Through my mom they declined, my dad saying his knees hurt and they can't come up our stairs. My dad is a hypochondriac.
A few weeks later he asks if he can visit. I said okay. He was supposed to be at our place at 10. No texts or calls from him. I tried to stay up late despite how exhausted we all were. By midnight I texted saying we were going to sleep, good night. NOTHING FROM HIM.
Despite this all he keeps sending texts over family texting groups saying I miss M when can I see and hold M when will you come over.
I don't know whether to laugh or Cry. Btw there are tons more issues that I didn't discuss here. Needless to say I don't really like him all that much and feel like I'm stuck c