BG post: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a63351592
I'm due next month and the plan right now (as long as everything goes well with the birth, but we are not making concrete plans till after the birth) is for my FIL and SMIL to come visit around thanksgiving. They (especially SMIL) have become my BEC with the way she reacted when we told them we wanted them to wait till thanksgiving to come out. The *short* version is:
-When FIL and SMIL were visiting in June I asked SMIL to come out and help with my 3 year old 2 weeks before my due date because my mom is going to her 50th HS reunion Oct 4-18 and I'm due the 22nd. SMIL said no.
-In July we told them it'd be best for them to come out during thanksgiving break and SMIL threw a temper tantrum, giving us the ultimatum of they get to come out for the birth or they will never come visit again, she also said they will no longer lend us any money (we redid a room so it could be their "in law suite" and pulled the carpet up. The last time they were here she offered to help pay for the wood flooring. We paid for it ourselves and it's now our 3 year old's toy room.)
-a couple weeks later she blamed me for her temper tantrum, saying I have deeply offended them with comments I've made when they've come and visited and stayed in our home.
My questions are:
-I don't know how to act when they are here. DH says SMIL is all about appearances and as long as she looks good to people, no matter how she acts, she is happy with herself. Because of this, I'm guessing she will be the ultimate rugsweeper when she's visiting and act like nothing ever happened. I want to confront her and say something like "Why were you so horrible to us during my pregnancy and are now acting like GMOTY?"
-I also don't feel comfortable accepting any gifts for the baby or our 3 year old because of the money comment.
-DH knows and accepts that they will not be invited into our house at all (they will be staying in a hotel) while they are in town. I have suggested we can meet them at a neutral location for short visits like the mall play area, indoor trampoline place, or local science center. I know I will not want to hand over my baby when we are with them. I have a wrap and a carrier and plan to babywear but I know I'll have to let her hold my baby a few times. I feel enraged every time I think of it and don't know how to deal.
I'm due next month and the plan right now (as long as everything goes well with the birth, but we are not making concrete plans till after the birth) is for my FIL and SMIL to come visit around thanksgiving. They (especially SMIL) have become my BEC with the way she reacted when we told them we wanted them to wait till thanksgiving to come out. The *short* version is:
-When FIL and SMIL were visiting in June I asked SMIL to come out and help with my 3 year old 2 weeks before my due date because my mom is going to her 50th HS reunion Oct 4-18 and I'm due the 22nd. SMIL said no.
-In July we told them it'd be best for them to come out during thanksgiving break and SMIL threw a temper tantrum, giving us the ultimatum of they get to come out for the birth or they will never come visit again, she also said they will no longer lend us any money (we redid a room so it could be their "in law suite" and pulled the carpet up. The last time they were here she offered to help pay for the wood flooring. We paid for it ourselves and it's now our 3 year old's toy room.)
-a couple weeks later she blamed me for her temper tantrum, saying I have deeply offended them with comments I've made when they've come and visited and stayed in our home.
My questions are:
-I don't know how to act when they are here. DH says SMIL is all about appearances and as long as she looks good to people, no matter how she acts, she is happy with herself. Because of this, I'm guessing she will be the ultimate rugsweeper when she's visiting and act like nothing ever happened. I want to confront her and say something like "Why were you so horrible to us during my pregnancy and are now acting like GMOTY?"
-I also don't feel comfortable accepting any gifts for the baby or our 3 year old because of the money comment.
-DH knows and accepts that they will not be invited into our house at all (they will be staying in a hotel) while they are in town. I have suggested we can meet them at a neutral location for short visits like the mall play area, indoor trampoline place, or local science center. I know I will not want to hand over my baby when we are with them. I have a wrap and a carrier and plan to babywear but I know I'll have to let her hold my baby a few times. I feel enraged every time I think of it and don't know how to deal.