Hi everyone, got told by my group to come to your board.
I've been married for a year and we have a 4 month old baby girl. We live with my DH parents. He has gone back to work and I too as well. Living with his parents we let my MIL look after our DD. During the day while at work, I call home at intervals to check on DD and to see that all is going well with her. At most, I call four times a day. I went back to work when she was 3 months. My MIL never gave me the impression that my calling home was an annoyance. To me, my calling to check in on my baby should not be an annoyance. A week ago, my MIL told me that she feels I do not trust her and I should stop calling home four times a day. She doesn't mind my lunch time call or my call when I am leaving work to come home on evenings. I asked her why she would think in such a way. She feels my calling is a sign that I do not have faith in her, and I need to get out the habit of being to clingy to DD.
When I get home from work on most evenings, I get alone time with DD, and so does DH. On mornings when we wake up, she already has DD up with her and playing.
Sometimes it feels like the only alone time I get with DD is on evenings and then on weekends. Some weekends when I get up early, she would tell me to go back to bed and sleep in instead of rushing myself after a hard work week. She would tell me get rest and she would look after DD until I got up.
The reason we live with them is because we are waiting on our home to be finished built. We have a move in date of November 24th. When we move, we would be 20 minutes away from my in laws, and we would be dropping DD off at their house for MIL to look after during the week.
With the way things are now, I still call home four times even though she is annoyed. Friday coming is DD's pedi appointment. DH and I always drive her to the pedi, and then she goes back home. We never used MIL or FIL as drivers to drop DD to the pedi. The arrangment always works easily and no fuss. Now, MIL wants to drop DD off at the pedi and take her in, rather than have DH or I meet her at the pedi, and we be the ones to take DD in.
When I talk to MIL about it, she called me paranoid. She tried making the case that both DH and I work in the city, and we have to leave work, drive to the suburbs which is 35-40 minutes away, pick DD up, then drive 20 minutes to the pedi. She thinks we should at least let her and FIL do it.
Am I paranoid? Should we let them have this time with DD at the pedi?