A little background:
When my dad drinks, he gets mad at every little thing and starts huffing and cursing. My mom is a snooper, makes belittling jokes and likes to play the victim. We have a newborn ds and my odss just came to live with us from dhs country of origin.
My parents came over last night to meet him. My father was already drunk - probably had been drinking all day. Some things that happened while they were here (all common behaviors for them). My mom picks up a folder of ss's documents, opens it and starts rifling through it. When I took it from her, she said, "I'm not trying to be nosy." To which I replied, "you're actively being nosy." My dad gets up and starts grumbling and cursing (which he does any time I correct her poor behavior). We had pizza and my dad made a huge mess on the floor. I asked my 7 yo mds to sweep it up. As he's doing this my mom say, "you've got a house boy." (This from a woman whose house is condemnable because she literally never cleans. I said, he is NOT a house boy. My dad gets up, walks around cursing loudly.
Later my dad says, "you've got a cute puppy." I though he was talking about yds because I'm on the defensive from moo's comments plus he's not speaking clearly because, drunk. So I said, he's a not a puppy then I heard him say _____ which is the name of the dog we gave him, so I quickly apologized stating my misunderstanding. He gets up and loudly screams obscenities (f bombs this time). I said, "I think it's time for you guys to leave. I'm tired of their behavior and I've tried to address it. He had also been hugging mds so hard, he dado, "you're hurting me Grandpa." He rug sweeps on his way out saying, "I love you OP, can I touch the baby (whom I was holding)? I let him apprehensively. He didn't hurt him but I was still uneasy (ftr I kept holding lo).
I've made my dislike of these constant misbehavior a clear, especially those of moo. She continues to act up. To be fair I've only mentioned the not coming over drunk to my mom b/c if you confront my father w/ anything conflicty he explodes.
Some notes:
foo is only drunk when he comes to our home or my gmoo's home (my mom's mom). So far it hasn't happened at a restaurant or other neutral location.
Moo likes to say things like "I can't do anything write," cry, etc (you dwilers can probably add the rest) when anyone dates insinuate she's imperfect.
Moo is GC. I'm poo's SG (GC is currently incarcerated). She did a shit job raising kids (I can give more details if needed, but obro was allowed to verbally & physically abuse me and given my stuff when he broke his) but thinks she gets a say in how I raise mine.
There was hospital drama with this lo despite re asserting boundaries after fiasco w/ mds.
When lo was 4 weeks she suggested we go on a date. I said he wasn't ready to be with anyone but parents and won't be for awhile. "Not even His GRANDMA! (in an appalled tone)
My parents took mds to 'theme park' recently. When discussing months ago it was mentioned to mds before it was mentioned to me. I was a little uncomfortable w/ it but didn't say anything. My anger over it has increased w/ time possibly as a result
of lurking this board.
Moo has improved from horrible person she was before (but never bad in public, only reveals true colors to family) but she still boundary stomps, throws tantrums and is my BEC. Making it harder to handle, she will improve to the point she almost acts like a normal, rational person. Then when I interact with her more she eventually goes BSC again.
Did I mention she likes to rug sweep? The closest she's come (and probably ever will) to apologizing for my horrible childhood was, "I can't change the past." (Another long story there, but this is getting too long.
Anyway, here's the draft for my clear boundary re asserting text. I want this to be clear enough that she doesn't need clarification because she'll whine/ fake sob through the questions without stating recounting what they did.
Mom & Dad,
I no longer feel comfortable hosting you at my house. From now on we need to meet in a neutral location. Dad, you may only be around my kids when you are sober. Mom, you need to avoid demeaning 'jokes' about my kids and to respect our privacy. I have tried to make these things clear before, but you either didn't get the message or chose to do what you want anyway. Hopefully this makes it more clear. Also, don't discuss potential trips with kids until after you've spoken with me about it.
When my dad drinks, he gets mad at every little thing and starts huffing and cursing. My mom is a snooper, makes belittling jokes and likes to play the victim. We have a newborn ds and my odss just came to live with us from dhs country of origin.
My parents came over last night to meet him. My father was already drunk - probably had been drinking all day. Some things that happened while they were here (all common behaviors for them). My mom picks up a folder of ss's documents, opens it and starts rifling through it. When I took it from her, she said, "I'm not trying to be nosy." To which I replied, "you're actively being nosy." My dad gets up and starts grumbling and cursing (which he does any time I correct her poor behavior). We had pizza and my dad made a huge mess on the floor. I asked my 7 yo mds to sweep it up. As he's doing this my mom say, "you've got a house boy." (This from a woman whose house is condemnable because she literally never cleans. I said, he is NOT a house boy. My dad gets up, walks around cursing loudly.
Later my dad says, "you've got a cute puppy." I though he was talking about yds because I'm on the defensive from moo's comments plus he's not speaking clearly because, drunk. So I said, he's a not a puppy then I heard him say _____ which is the name of the dog we gave him, so I quickly apologized stating my misunderstanding. He gets up and loudly screams obscenities (f bombs this time). I said, "I think it's time for you guys to leave. I'm tired of their behavior and I've tried to address it. He had also been hugging mds so hard, he dado, "you're hurting me Grandpa." He rug sweeps on his way out saying, "I love you OP, can I touch the baby (whom I was holding)? I let him apprehensively. He didn't hurt him but I was still uneasy (ftr I kept holding lo).
I've made my dislike of these constant misbehavior a clear, especially those of moo. She continues to act up. To be fair I've only mentioned the not coming over drunk to my mom b/c if you confront my father w/ anything conflicty he explodes.
Some notes:
foo is only drunk when he comes to our home or my gmoo's home (my mom's mom). So far it hasn't happened at a restaurant or other neutral location.
Moo likes to say things like "I can't do anything write," cry, etc (you dwilers can probably add the rest) when anyone dates insinuate she's imperfect.
Moo is GC. I'm poo's SG (GC is currently incarcerated). She did a shit job raising kids (I can give more details if needed, but obro was allowed to verbally & physically abuse me and given my stuff when he broke his) but thinks she gets a say in how I raise mine.
There was hospital drama with this lo despite re asserting boundaries after fiasco w/ mds.
When lo was 4 weeks she suggested we go on a date. I said he wasn't ready to be with anyone but parents and won't be for awhile. "Not even His GRANDMA! (in an appalled tone)
My parents took mds to 'theme park' recently. When discussing months ago it was mentioned to mds before it was mentioned to me. I was a little uncomfortable w/ it but didn't say anything. My anger over it has increased w/ time possibly as a result
of lurking this board.
Moo has improved from horrible person she was before (but never bad in public, only reveals true colors to family) but she still boundary stomps, throws tantrums and is my BEC. Making it harder to handle, she will improve to the point she almost acts like a normal, rational person. Then when I interact with her more she eventually goes BSC again.
Did I mention she likes to rug sweep? The closest she's come (and probably ever will) to apologizing for my horrible childhood was, "I can't change the past." (Another long story there, but this is getting too long.
Anyway, here's the draft for my clear boundary re asserting text. I want this to be clear enough that she doesn't need clarification because she'll whine/ fake sob through the questions without stating recounting what they did.
Mom & Dad,
I no longer feel comfortable hosting you at my house. From now on we need to meet in a neutral location. Dad, you may only be around my kids when you are sober. Mom, you need to avoid demeaning 'jokes' about my kids and to respect our privacy. I have tried to make these things clear before, but you either didn't get the message or chose to do what you want anyway. Hopefully this makes it more clear. Also, don't discuss potential trips with kids until after you've spoken with me about it.