I have a few years background with my in laws. DH and I have cut them all off, except my one SIL who I always had a great relationship with.
I have 2 SIL, 1 BIL, PILs are divorced and despise each other.
My oldest SIL, who is DHs younger sister has despised me from day one and has made it very apparent. She has gone as far as physically assaulting me and (as mentioned above) is CO. She has met my LO once via an accidental, very awkward, run in. Their dad took off and she has always been overly attached to my husband, calling him her father figure. My therapist flat out told my DH that she believes my SIL has every sign of having an unhealthy attraction (yes attraction not attachment) and looks at me as "the other woman". she has succeeded in turning her entire family against me, as well as a few mutual friends we had. It hurt me a lot, and everytime I think she has finally given up I find out that she has been calling my friends making up rumors and trying to get them to stop talking to me. I have no idea what her obsession is with me being ostracized from everyone, it seems her goal is to completely isolate me from all relationships (and tried many times to do so with my husband, even going as far as having her friends text him things that never happened like "last night was amazing" which was an obvious lie as I trust my husband and he's with me every night. And sending me messages that she caught my husband cheating and telling him the same about me years ago before she was blocked from FB.) So that's the background there.
On to the issue that is probably a non issue: the only in law relationship I have left is my YSIL. She was supposed to be a witness at my courthouse wedding, and surprisingly she bailed the day of which left unscrambling for a witness on short notice. At my reception she stopped by to literally say hello to my LO, and left. Didn't say a word to my DH or I. No congrats, nothing. I was hurt but just let it go. I was supposed to be a witness at her wedding. This week. I found out via FB she changed the date and time and her witness was my evil SIL. Last week I got a phone call from an extended in law saying that OSIL had been calling her extended family (cousins, second cousins, etc) making up lies about me and said she had actually encouraged them to quit speaking to me.
Im sure this seems petty, I know I should care 100% less, we have CO and I have blocked them all on FB (which I'm sure will start a war because they won't be able to see pics of LO). But am I right to feel hurt? My husband just encourages me to ignore them. I feel like I have but when I find out even after 4 years my OSIL is still obsessed with ostracizing me from everyone she possibly can I'm just enraged. It hurts that people actually care so little about me that they would follow along. She is very influential but I didn't think she was THIS influential.
To answer the obvious question: no I stupidly did not file assault charges. And it was a couple of years ago now so it's a little late for that.
My question I guess is has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? I don't understand how I can just leave it alone, pretend she is dead for years, and the entire time anyone in her family she finds out is talking to me she calls them to try and convince them to CO me. I have been to therapy. My therapist has encouraged me at this point to keep my doors and windows locked because now that she has cut everyone off from me her obsessive hatred isn't going to stop there and she has proven that she is violent before. I just need some advice on just not caring anymore and wondering if anyone else has had this happen or is it just me? I don't know why I'm so hurt when she obviously is just unstable but I am.
I have 2 SIL, 1 BIL, PILs are divorced and despise each other.
My oldest SIL, who is DHs younger sister has despised me from day one and has made it very apparent. She has gone as far as physically assaulting me and (as mentioned above) is CO. She has met my LO once via an accidental, very awkward, run in. Their dad took off and she has always been overly attached to my husband, calling him her father figure. My therapist flat out told my DH that she believes my SIL has every sign of having an unhealthy attraction (yes attraction not attachment) and looks at me as "the other woman". she has succeeded in turning her entire family against me, as well as a few mutual friends we had. It hurt me a lot, and everytime I think she has finally given up I find out that she has been calling my friends making up rumors and trying to get them to stop talking to me. I have no idea what her obsession is with me being ostracized from everyone, it seems her goal is to completely isolate me from all relationships (and tried many times to do so with my husband, even going as far as having her friends text him things that never happened like "last night was amazing" which was an obvious lie as I trust my husband and he's with me every night. And sending me messages that she caught my husband cheating and telling him the same about me years ago before she was blocked from FB.) So that's the background there.
On to the issue that is probably a non issue: the only in law relationship I have left is my YSIL. She was supposed to be a witness at my courthouse wedding, and surprisingly she bailed the day of which left unscrambling for a witness on short notice. At my reception she stopped by to literally say hello to my LO, and left. Didn't say a word to my DH or I. No congrats, nothing. I was hurt but just let it go. I was supposed to be a witness at her wedding. This week. I found out via FB she changed the date and time and her witness was my evil SIL. Last week I got a phone call from an extended in law saying that OSIL had been calling her extended family (cousins, second cousins, etc) making up lies about me and said she had actually encouraged them to quit speaking to me.
Im sure this seems petty, I know I should care 100% less, we have CO and I have blocked them all on FB (which I'm sure will start a war because they won't be able to see pics of LO). But am I right to feel hurt? My husband just encourages me to ignore them. I feel like I have but when I find out even after 4 years my OSIL is still obsessed with ostracizing me from everyone she possibly can I'm just enraged. It hurts that people actually care so little about me that they would follow along. She is very influential but I didn't think she was THIS influential.
To answer the obvious question: no I stupidly did not file assault charges. And it was a couple of years ago now so it's a little late for that.
My question I guess is has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? I don't understand how I can just leave it alone, pretend she is dead for years, and the entire time anyone in her family she finds out is talking to me she calls them to try and convince them to CO me. I have been to therapy. My therapist has encouraged me at this point to keep my doors and windows locked because now that she has cut everyone off from me her obsessive hatred isn't going to stop there and she has proven that she is violent before. I just need some advice on just not caring anymore and wondering if anyone else has had this happen or is it just me? I don't know why I'm so hurt when she obviously is just unstable but I am.