Updates: 7, 9, 10, email 11, 15, 20, 21, 22, 23, 27, 28, 30, 32, 35, 36, 37, 42, 52, 54, 55, 57, 60, 62, 63, 66, 67, 69x2, 72
First time poster, long time stalker of the board.
A little back story: MIL left DH and his brother to move across the country from SC to CA when they were 6 and 8. She didn't want to be mom and wife anymore and wanted a career so she got one. FIL paid for her school, her housing, alimony and was still paying child support for 4 months after she moved. FIL remarried to the most amazing women I have ever met- seriously SMIL is a God send and one of my best friends now. MIL walked all over SMIL for the last 20 years, telling people she was the boys real mom and how great she is blah blah blah.
So DH and I get married and I had a decent relationship with MIL until we had kids. MIL is obsessed with my oldest DS and is totally uninterested in our youngest DS. When I told her we were pregnant with YDS she cried on my shoulder about what a burden we were. I worked 4 days a month out of the house and continued to talk about how she never gets to see ODS but would never commit to babysit so he would come to work with me. On the rare occasion she would watch him she would make a big deal about taking him to the pool, have me pack his swim trunks, floaties and towel and he would be super excited; 9 times out of 10 she would take him to the gym and leave him in day care. He was always disappointed but I never said anything about it.
Present day: DH got a stellar job offer in SC (we were living in CA at the time) and we were thrilled to move back, we had been trying to move back for 3 years. Apparently now MIL wants to move back to SC too. She came to visit in Feb when YDS was 5 months and she held him all of 3 times during her week long stay. She ooed and aahhed over ODS and did her usual MIL show telling everyone she was his real grandma and how great she is. Then she totally undermined me in front of my son. I told him to do one thing and she told him he didn't have to. I left her at my house alone for 6 hours. She then told DH she wasn't comfortable staying at our house anymore and will stay with her friend (good! I didn't have to call that bitch a cab and kick her out myself). We didn't talk for months, she said she wanted to apologize so I took her call. Then she tells me she is coming to visit in August for 2.5 weeks and again 6 weeks later in October for another 2 weeks. Both times she will be staying with a friend. When DH and I moved here we agreed that each of our parents could visit twice a year for a week at a time. He never told his mom- their relationship is strange and he did t want to hurt her feelings. She cries at the drop of a hat and plays the victim role really well.
So we agreed that I would tell her and set the boundaries going forward (I honestly didn't think DH would tell her at all so it was either both of us or just me and he didn't want to have the conversation). I told her we would love to see you in August for a few days, we may not be here in October, but going forward this is way too much. She told me no. She doesn't need to ask for permission to live her life. She can do whatever the fuck she wants, she told me to get ready because in a year she will be living bicoastally. I told her that if she couldn't respect the boundaries you can not see the children at all. Immediately after we hang up she calls DH, he tells her that he backs me 150% and to either respect the boundaries or forgoe your relationship with our boys. 20 minutes later she starts posting photos of my kids on Facebook saying she can't wait to see them in a few weeks. I asked Facebook to remove the photos of my kids. I blocked her both on Facebook and on my phone. BIL called DH upset about the whole thing and they agreed that he should just stay out of it and let it blow over. Yesterday, BIL tagged her in all of my photos and SMILs photos of the kids (right after calling to wish DH a happy Father's Day). I removed the tags from my photos and blocked him too but SMIL is not in town and not tech savvy enough to do it from her phone. And it's not like she can block her step son and I would never ask her to do so, that would be ridiculous.
I am livid. This woman will stop at nothing. I am ready to file a restraining order if she shows up at my house in August. Like what else is left to do? I don't want a war. How can I stop this familial divide without allowing her to run through our lives like a train?
↧
MIL has just started a war- Update page 72- GPR
↧