Been needing to post for quite some time. I just never know where to start. I even made a new screen name several months ago when I found out I was pregnant with our second in prep for needing to post here. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Please ask as many clarifying questions as you need.
A little background: had DD in 2009 and had severe complications after delivery. I got talked into allowing MIL to come out much sooner than planned due to the circumstances. MIL is a nice person and has good intentions but gets her feelings hurt VERY easily. This is the root of most issues with her. For example, I was nursing DD in my room and DH and I were eating dinner in the room so I could have privacy. (I am a very private person) Well, she got very upset thinking we were mad at her, to the point where my husband had to go talk to her on our porch for 2 hours. Every visit we ever have turns into something like this.
I knew right away this go round (EDD 11-25) that I needed a different post partum experience. I told both sides fairly early on that I wanted about a month, and that we would let them know when we are ready for visitors. My mom has been very supportive and understanding about this. His family was not thrilled but seemed to accept it. Well, two days ago my husband got a text from his mom saying she's excited to head here on Saturday and help with ODD. Not once have we asked for help. They are going to stay with DH's grandparents that live 45 minutes from here. DH and I got in a pretty massive fight about them. He said they planned to come for Thanksgiving 6 months ago, although this was the first I had heard. I told DH he needed to let them know if we needed help with DD we would let them know. As of yesterday he had still not responded to MIL's text.
Cut to this morning-FIL posts on dbil that he can't wait to see ODD and meet the new one. I was like, do these people seriously think they are going to completely ignore my wishes and think that by driving ten hours for "Thanksgiving" that we will just give in and let them all meet baby?
I posted this on the dbil: Our baby girl's estimated due date is soon. Just a reminder to our friends and family that we are looking forward to spending some alone time with baby, but will definitely be letting everyone know when we are ready for visitors after a few weeks. We can't wait to share pictures when she's born.
My SIL tagged everyone in his family and then DH's mom made this comment on FIL's post about meeting baby: (FIL) Don't get too excited .... don't think we will be seeing the new one. Hopefully, we can still see (granddaughter).
A tiny bit more possibly relevant background-GMIL is a prescription drug addict so by MIL offering to help, she means she wants to take DD to the drug addict's house. This will not happen.
I pre-registered at the hospital today and did so as private due to all of this.
What else should I be doing? At this point I am leaving it in DH's hands, but he hates conflict so unfortunately that's why I even had to resort to posting the dbil post in the first place. Ug-I just want a quiet post partum time!
TL;DR Asked family to give us a month before visiting after baby and DH's family ignored this and are driving up Saturday. I am due 11-25.
A little background: had DD in 2009 and had severe complications after delivery. I got talked into allowing MIL to come out much sooner than planned due to the circumstances. MIL is a nice person and has good intentions but gets her feelings hurt VERY easily. This is the root of most issues with her. For example, I was nursing DD in my room and DH and I were eating dinner in the room so I could have privacy. (I am a very private person) Well, she got very upset thinking we were mad at her, to the point where my husband had to go talk to her on our porch for 2 hours. Every visit we ever have turns into something like this.
I knew right away this go round (EDD 11-25) that I needed a different post partum experience. I told both sides fairly early on that I wanted about a month, and that we would let them know when we are ready for visitors. My mom has been very supportive and understanding about this. His family was not thrilled but seemed to accept it. Well, two days ago my husband got a text from his mom saying she's excited to head here on Saturday and help with ODD. Not once have we asked for help. They are going to stay with DH's grandparents that live 45 minutes from here. DH and I got in a pretty massive fight about them. He said they planned to come for Thanksgiving 6 months ago, although this was the first I had heard. I told DH he needed to let them know if we needed help with DD we would let them know. As of yesterday he had still not responded to MIL's text.
Cut to this morning-FIL posts on dbil that he can't wait to see ODD and meet the new one. I was like, do these people seriously think they are going to completely ignore my wishes and think that by driving ten hours for "Thanksgiving" that we will just give in and let them all meet baby?
I posted this on the dbil: Our baby girl's estimated due date is soon. Just a reminder to our friends and family that we are looking forward to spending some alone time with baby, but will definitely be letting everyone know when we are ready for visitors after a few weeks. We can't wait to share pictures when she's born.
My SIL tagged everyone in his family and then DH's mom made this comment on FIL's post about meeting baby: (FIL) Don't get too excited .... don't think we will be seeing the new one. Hopefully, we can still see (granddaughter).
A tiny bit more possibly relevant background-GMIL is a prescription drug addict so by MIL offering to help, she means she wants to take DD to the drug addict's house. This will not happen.
I pre-registered at the hospital today and did so as private due to all of this.
What else should I be doing? At this point I am leaving it in DH's hands, but he hates conflict so unfortunately that's why I even had to resort to posting the dbil post in the first place. Ug-I just want a quiet post partum time!
TL;DR Asked family to give us a month before visiting after baby and DH's family ignored this and are driving up Saturday. I am due 11-25.
