Hi all! I am a lurker mainly. I have been waiting for an opportunity to come up in my family, because it is inevitable. I think something came up yesterday, but need your advice.
BG:
I have a sister who is pretty nutty. My grandmother was in the hospital for about three weeks one year ago and my mom was there with her and her dad helping. In the meantime, my sister and I were going to look in on my mom's cats and clean a bit. My sister shows up to the house before me. When I get there, the cats had already escaped somehow. We called my mom and she began yelling at us, and then called my brother (they are enmeshed) to do something about it. He proceeded to call us names and tear us a new one.
Fast forward: all of us siblings travel to see grandma because she is going to pass. We are all crammed into grandpa's house. I overhear my sister completely lying to family members in another room. She says it is all my fault and calls me some names, among other things. She makes herself out to be the good guy etc. obviously I was pissed! But I just went to the funeral and left without talking to anyone really. I never called her out on it (shame on me I know!).
Well she has slowly started to mature (or so I thought). TRIGGER We have gotten closer these past two years because she Has had a miscarriage and my whole family treated her like crap. I was tthe only normal one who was there for her. END TRIGGER
She had a baby boy in december and is part time working. I am a SAHM to two kiddos and one on the way. I watch her son. Once a week for about an hour. It is a super small committment that is not hard to do. I enjoy the time with the kiddo.
Yesterday, however, when she came over with baby, I called him by his usual nickname that SHE gave him. I only use it because SHE used it when he was born and even after.
I simply say, "when are we going to stop calling you "baby X" in a joking way because he is getting so big. She bursts out, "WELL YOU CAN STOP IT NOW!"
I say, "ok I will. I didn't know you had a problem with it. Of course I will call him whatever you want him."
She says something along the lines of, "I already told you I don't like that nickname and you said TOUGH i am using it anyway!!"
She is almost yelling at me.
I calmly but firmly say, "this is not in my character. I would never say that to anyone. If you don't want me using the nickname I will no longer use it, uit I never said that to you."
She gets all huffy and her husband is there to pick up baby so she changes the subject and leaves for work quickly.
I am very angry. It feels so minor, but this is the second time I have caught her lying about me and I just hate it. She is a huge gossip and slanders people behind their back. I do not participate in any family gossip and shut it down and change the subject, so my whole family has just take. To gossiping about me behind my back. They don't like me because I became a Christian and they have these made up ideas about who I am and what I believe without EVER asking or taking any time to get to know me.
Sorry for that little tangent...
What do I do? Do I need to address the lying again? I shut it down this time but I am still very angry and disrespected.
BG:
I have a sister who is pretty nutty. My grandmother was in the hospital for about three weeks one year ago and my mom was there with her and her dad helping. In the meantime, my sister and I were going to look in on my mom's cats and clean a bit. My sister shows up to the house before me. When I get there, the cats had already escaped somehow. We called my mom and she began yelling at us, and then called my brother (they are enmeshed) to do something about it. He proceeded to call us names and tear us a new one.
Fast forward: all of us siblings travel to see grandma because she is going to pass. We are all crammed into grandpa's house. I overhear my sister completely lying to family members in another room. She says it is all my fault and calls me some names, among other things. She makes herself out to be the good guy etc. obviously I was pissed! But I just went to the funeral and left without talking to anyone really. I never called her out on it (shame on me I know!).
Well she has slowly started to mature (or so I thought). TRIGGER We have gotten closer these past two years because she Has had a miscarriage and my whole family treated her like crap. I was tthe only normal one who was there for her. END TRIGGER
She had a baby boy in december and is part time working. I am a SAHM to two kiddos and one on the way. I watch her son. Once a week for about an hour. It is a super small committment that is not hard to do. I enjoy the time with the kiddo.
Yesterday, however, when she came over with baby, I called him by his usual nickname that SHE gave him. I only use it because SHE used it when he was born and even after.
I simply say, "when are we going to stop calling you "baby X" in a joking way because he is getting so big. She bursts out, "WELL YOU CAN STOP IT NOW!"
I say, "ok I will. I didn't know you had a problem with it. Of course I will call him whatever you want him."
She says something along the lines of, "I already told you I don't like that nickname and you said TOUGH i am using it anyway!!"
She is almost yelling at me.
I calmly but firmly say, "this is not in my character. I would never say that to anyone. If you don't want me using the nickname I will no longer use it, uit I never said that to you."
She gets all huffy and her husband is there to pick up baby so she changes the subject and leaves for work quickly.
I am very angry. It feels so minor, but this is the second time I have caught her lying about me and I just hate it. She is a huge gossip and slanders people behind their back. I do not participate in any family gossip and shut it down and change the subject, so my whole family has just take. To gossiping about me behind my back. They don't like me because I became a Christian and they have these made up ideas about who I am and what I believe without EVER asking or taking any time to get to know me.
Sorry for that little tangent...
What do I do? Do I need to address the lying again? I shut it down this time but I am still very angry and disrespected.