A little background here, I am Jewish, my husband is a baptist. My mother is Jewish, my father is a Roman Catholic. My husband and I wanted our daughter to have our daughter named so that she may attend Hebrew school and eventually have a Bat Mitzvah. There was a mutual belief between my husband and I, no further discussion.
My entire life my father's family has attempted unsuccessfully to shove Roman Catholic doctrine down my throat and my mother would appease him with "make your father happy". This was an ideology I have found frightening and never wanted any part of.
My brother has chosen to be married by a priest (same priest involved from my parents wedding 31 years ago) and a rabbi. He is parading as a Roman Catholic to make my father happy. His fiancé parades as Jewish, but isn't really (here's why: her mother chose to be Jewish, never converted, her mother's father was Jewish). Last week, they met with this priest who I've been told is very charming. The priest suggests a welcoming ceremony with a priest and a rabbi (weird). There have been NO formal conversions by any party involved.
I had been staying with my parents and the baby (4 months old) for a few days since they live far away when my brother and fiancé had this meeting with this priest. My mom talks to me and says dad was hopeful that you would consider having this welcoming ceremony. I said no thank you and plan her naming as grandma did for me.
Apparently a welcoming ceremony as I understand it is a ceremony with a priest and rabbi (baptism and naming). I find this type of ceremony to be not welcoming or sacred at all. I'm horrified by it as is my husband.
Fast forward to this week, we were once again at the grandparents for some events. We were having a great visit where my mom not in front of my dad starts throwing a hissy fit with tears about how I'm disrespecting my father by not having this ceremony. I fought with her about how important her birth right was and all we asked from you is to plan a naming. My mom kept saying she cannot hurt my father.
My dad then threatens with me not helping us out for child care if my child is not baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. He believes if this welcoming ceremony does not happen my child's soul will be in "limbo". He then demands that my husband must consent under my father's terms and conditions.
I was crying hysterically at this point. My husband and I talk he said lets get our daughter named in front of the Torah in a sacred way first just us. Never letting my parents know. Let your father run the ceremony as it is meaningless to both of us. My husband refuses to attend the ceremony. We will be honest with our child about what occurred here when she's old enough and let her know how her parents were cornered and how we felt about this mockery of a ceremony.
My husband is done discussing it. He said tell your dad whatever run the ceremony. Let them know though that we intend to be honest with our child. I go to my parents and my father demands consent from my husband. My husband says "whatever run the ceremony". My father demands "consent" specifically from my husband as the phrase my husband used was not good enough. My parents view our perspective of honesty as a threat to pit their granddaughter against them. My father is expecting to revisit this next week. My father demands that I meet with this priest. How do I even approach this?
In the mean time, we are having our daughter named in temple. I am really sad about the whole situation my heart is breaking for my child. I now feel like I'm carrying the burden of my daughter's birth alone. I feel awful.
My entire life my father's family has attempted unsuccessfully to shove Roman Catholic doctrine down my throat and my mother would appease him with "make your father happy". This was an ideology I have found frightening and never wanted any part of.
My brother has chosen to be married by a priest (same priest involved from my parents wedding 31 years ago) and a rabbi. He is parading as a Roman Catholic to make my father happy. His fiancé parades as Jewish, but isn't really (here's why: her mother chose to be Jewish, never converted, her mother's father was Jewish). Last week, they met with this priest who I've been told is very charming. The priest suggests a welcoming ceremony with a priest and a rabbi (weird). There have been NO formal conversions by any party involved.
I had been staying with my parents and the baby (4 months old) for a few days since they live far away when my brother and fiancé had this meeting with this priest. My mom talks to me and says dad was hopeful that you would consider having this welcoming ceremony. I said no thank you and plan her naming as grandma did for me.
Apparently a welcoming ceremony as I understand it is a ceremony with a priest and rabbi (baptism and naming). I find this type of ceremony to be not welcoming or sacred at all. I'm horrified by it as is my husband.
Fast forward to this week, we were once again at the grandparents for some events. We were having a great visit where my mom not in front of my dad starts throwing a hissy fit with tears about how I'm disrespecting my father by not having this ceremony. I fought with her about how important her birth right was and all we asked from you is to plan a naming. My mom kept saying she cannot hurt my father.
My dad then threatens with me not helping us out for child care if my child is not baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. He believes if this welcoming ceremony does not happen my child's soul will be in "limbo". He then demands that my husband must consent under my father's terms and conditions.
I was crying hysterically at this point. My husband and I talk he said lets get our daughter named in front of the Torah in a sacred way first just us. Never letting my parents know. Let your father run the ceremony as it is meaningless to both of us. My husband refuses to attend the ceremony. We will be honest with our child about what occurred here when she's old enough and let her know how her parents were cornered and how we felt about this mockery of a ceremony.
My husband is done discussing it. He said tell your dad whatever run the ceremony. Let them know though that we intend to be honest with our child. I go to my parents and my father demands consent from my husband. My husband says "whatever run the ceremony". My father demands "consent" specifically from my husband as the phrase my husband used was not good enough. My parents view our perspective of honesty as a threat to pit their granddaughter against them. My father is expecting to revisit this next week. My father demands that I meet with this priest. How do I even approach this?
In the mean time, we are having our daughter named in temple. I am really sad about the whole situation my heart is breaking for my child. I now feel like I'm carrying the burden of my daughter's birth alone. I feel awful.