My SO and I had a great relationship until the birth of our 1st son. While I was in labor at 32w his mom called both of us nonstop and I was annoyed. He never told her to back off even though I asked him to get her off my case! Our son was born at 10pm and rushed to the nicu, I had an emergency c section and they wheeled me to my room for the night. My SO said he couldn't sleep there and left at 1am. I was a wreck. I called and begged him to come back numerous times. He finally showed up at noon the next day. He was rarely there in my 5 day stay and I was a mess. His mom kept calling me constantly telling me to give him a break. My mom couldn't take it anymore and told him to man up and be at the hospital for me. He's hated her since. Fast forward a month, things are still tense between my so and myself. Our son finally gets to come home! We agree on no visitors the 1st night. Guess who shows up?!?!? His mom! He kept kinda telling her to leave and she wouldn't!!!! The next couple months are rough, everytime she stops by uninvited things get tense between my so and myself. She finally tells him the way I'm treating her is ridiculous and it's his house not mine and he decides who comes and goes. He sides with her and gets mad at me. We go to therapy for awhile and it kinda helps our relationship. Over the next year I barely see her. My sons first bday comes and she shows up 45 minutes late and then leaves in the middle to go give her dog medicine and tells us to pause the party!!! My so agrees!!!!!!!! At the party she goes on and on about the amount of toys and clothes my son has and how she never knows what to buy him cuz he has everything. I try to ignore her. So over the next 6mo I barely see her. Now onto Xmas eve. His family has a tradition where she watches his daughter from 1st marriage open all her gifts from my so and herself so I say that's not fair my parents should be invited. So my parents come too. We have dinner ready served buffet style, his mom shows up 30 min late. my son is in his highchair at the head of the table and I got my plate and sat down next to him. My mom sat down on the other side of my son. My so flipped out and wouldn't eat because my mom "took his spot" so he's already pissed. We go to open gifts and my so sits on the couch on his phone will my mom and I watch my son open gifts and his mom watches his daughter. He is mad my 1 year old won't open all the gifts and wants to play with them. He's 1 that's what they do. So he storms off! His mom gets in my moms face about opening packages. So things kinda cool down. Then somehow the topic of weather comes up and I say it sure would be nice to Park in the garage instead of outside being pregnant with a 1 year old. Him and his mom jumped on my case. I went to the bathroom crying. After 5 mins or so his mom is looking for me and my mom says she's in the bathroom crying because of the way you 2 spoke to her. He and his mom jumped in my moms face about how it's none of her business and I live in his house. He tells my mom to get out. I come out of the bathroom, grab my son and go to our bedroom. My mom comes in and grabs her jacket and hugs me. He comes in screaming and telling her to get out or he's calling the cops. She puts her jacket on and gives me another hug. He's still yelling for her to leave. I follow her out to get all her stuff and both of us are quiet except I'm sobbing. His mom jumps on my moms case again about how she's a big fat bitch, he calls 911. My mom gets her stuff and is sitting in her car crying. I calmly ask him if everyone else can leave so he and I can talk. He screams at me. His mom screams at me and he takes her side. Fast forward: we are now in therapy, my mom is our babysitter usually at our home but he won't allow her here so I've been relying on friends, his mom refuses to babysit at our house and says she should be allowed to babysit at her house. She's a hoarder and just had the fire inspector called and has x amount of time to clean it out. Therapy is helping things between us thus far, we have a long ways to go. We haven't gotten far talking about our families. I'm at a loss of what to even do!
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