I don't know how to link my previous thread, but this is basically a new issue with the same person.
So, I am 37 weeks tomorrow with my 3rd baby. I have a 20 year old daughter and an almost 15 year old son.
My issue right now is with my daughter, who lives with her dad. She is having many issues "launching off", and can be very immature.
Originally, I thought that for this delivery I would have my SO and my daughter in the room with me. After thinking a lot about it, and hearing my SOs concerns, we have decided that we want it to just be the two of us. I know she's going to be hurt and upset; however, it stresses me out to think about her in there with us being bored or impatient, playing on her phone etc. I don't know if I should to her before hand that I don't want her to be there until after or if we should just call her after and say "come meet your sister!"
That's issue one
On to issue 2: my daughter is super excited about the baby, and that's awesome. My SO and I are really concerned that she's going to end up being here all the time though right after the baby is born. She can be exhausting when she visits... Eating our food... Leaving messes etc.
She also mentions taking the baby "places". I ask her what she means and she just ya know just wherever. That makes me really uncomfortable. Tonight she texted me and asked if we have a car seat that she will be able to use because she was considering buying one at Walmart.
I told her we do; however, "please understand that it's going to be awhile before the baby is going to be going anywhere without me". She seemed to get really offended by that and said "Nevermind then.." I know my daughter and I know that means that she's angry.
I have read so many stories about boundary stompers. I just don't know if it makes me a horrible person to not want my older daughter to take out my newborn daughter to show her off at all these places. I want them to be as close as possible, even though they will be 20 years apart... But my daughter seems to think she's going to be like a second mom to her.
Ok I'm ready... Am I wrong?
So, I am 37 weeks tomorrow with my 3rd baby. I have a 20 year old daughter and an almost 15 year old son.
My issue right now is with my daughter, who lives with her dad. She is having many issues "launching off", and can be very immature.
Originally, I thought that for this delivery I would have my SO and my daughter in the room with me. After thinking a lot about it, and hearing my SOs concerns, we have decided that we want it to just be the two of us. I know she's going to be hurt and upset; however, it stresses me out to think about her in there with us being bored or impatient, playing on her phone etc. I don't know if I should to her before hand that I don't want her to be there until after or if we should just call her after and say "come meet your sister!"
That's issue one
On to issue 2: my daughter is super excited about the baby, and that's awesome. My SO and I are really concerned that she's going to end up being here all the time though right after the baby is born. She can be exhausting when she visits... Eating our food... Leaving messes etc.
She also mentions taking the baby "places". I ask her what she means and she just ya know just wherever. That makes me really uncomfortable. Tonight she texted me and asked if we have a car seat that she will be able to use because she was considering buying one at Walmart.
I told her we do; however, "please understand that it's going to be awhile before the baby is going to be going anywhere without me". She seemed to get really offended by that and said "Nevermind then.." I know my daughter and I know that means that she's angry.
I have read so many stories about boundary stompers. I just don't know if it makes me a horrible person to not want my older daughter to take out my newborn daughter to show her off at all these places. I want them to be as close as possible, even though they will be 20 years apart... But my daughter seems to think she's going to be like a second mom to her.
Ok I'm ready... Am I wrong?
