My DS isn't walking yet at 15 months. Of course I've asked my birth board, and pedi both say it's fine. Well the daycare recommended this state funded resource that will send a OT to our home to show us some exercises and games we can do to help get him walking, and also someone to help us with his speech (no words yet). It's all up to me and DH whether we do it. We have decided to give it a try because it'll be nice to have the support and it's free, nothing to lose. I let my parents know about this because it came up in casual convo when they asked if he was walking or not yet a couple of weeks ago. My mom voiced some concerns about the program and I basically cut her off.
They live 2.5 hours away and we see them maybe once a month? if that. My mom had some time off work and wanted to come hang out with DS some. This was good timing because he is more adventerous at home and will do more standing/attempting to walk here than he will at daycare. So I say sure. (I actually just had the daycare order some standing height activities for his room that wouldn't be in until next week anyway).
The week has been great. He's been having a blast, napping good, and really getting confident in his coasting and will now walk just holding 1 hand instead of 2.
However, yesterday I met with a representative from the program to get him (well more actually me) some help. I told my mom I was meeting with her because it caused me to get home from work later than usual. (at this point, she told me to 'be careful and never leave him alone with anyone from the program' - I wouldnt' do that - and they don't do anything but teach ME how to do exercises and games with him - so I have to be present). I took one of those surveys and it basically said he qualified for the program (it's early intervention so he isn't developmentally delayed just a little slower than 'average'). The survey kind of upset me because I'm a mom and I worry. I know he's going to be fine though and is normal. However, when I got home my mom was drilling me with questions about it. I let her know "he qualified, for all the expected reasons" she was asking about the survey, what questions they asked, etc. I answered a couple questions and let her know I wasn't really ready to talk about any of this. We changed the subject.
Later on me and DS are downstairs playing and she's upstairs relaxing. She comes all the way downstairs and sits down and is like "I just want you to listen, don't talk. Be careful who you let evaluate him, I don't want him labeled" & I cut her off and said "No, I will not be talking about this right now. There's also nowhere to label him." She tried again and I said "No offense to you, but no - this is not a subject we are going to talk about right now."
She storms upstairs making DS upset (he cried for a second) and yelling back down "I'LL NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN"
Then she's banging around upstairs and yells down "I'm going for a walk". Fine. DS & I decide to go outside too. She blows past us saying "He needs a hat on" & walks inside leaving the door open and going upstairs. Um, ok? So we finish playing and come inside. I look at my phone and she has sent me a text basically stating how I let a daycare lady start all of this, he is fine, I think I'm smarter than her, he's going to be labeled through public daycare, and not to respond because I was rude not letting her finish her sentence.
Guys, I was through. I dont' have to take her advice. I don't have to listen to or convince her of decisions I make for my child. (for the record, the program follows HIPAA and can't even talk to the daycare or anyone about him even being IN the program unless I give permission... and he goes to a private daycare in another city/county than he will attend public school). I ignored the text, called my dad and told him to come get her ASAP (he dropped her off this past weekend) and why.
When D(u)H got home from work, I explained to him what had happened and how i was feeling. He suggested I apologize, and I should have just told her what she wanted to know, and we were 'both wrong' -eyeroll-. I shut him down, told him that she cannot MAKE me take her unsolicited uninformed advice, I was nothing but pollite, and if anything - it was rude for her to try to contine to approach a topic that I had told her I was not discussing with her.
I talked to her again last night, just told her that her behavior wasn't acceptable, she owed me an apology, and things like that were not going to happen in my house. She acted like a teenager, looking down, saying "ok, ok, OK I heard ya"
She's leaving today around 3 pm (earliest my dad could get her). I am thinking a timeout until I can think about what happened without feeling upset/annoyed, and of course she apologizes (I understand that may never happen and am actually fine with nixing the relationship).
However, DH has me wondering if I'm taking things too far.