So to begin, this might be a long story, just a warning. This spring me, DH and DD (10 months) are moving to my DH's small hometown where all of his family lives.
When DD was 2 months old my MIL (a severe alcoholic) decided that she would get drunk before we came to visit her for a walk around the city during her treatment for breast cancer (She's in remission now). Unaware she was loaded until she was walking ahead of us with the stroller, we grabbed on and turned around. To make a long story short, she and DH got into a huge fight in the middle of the street as I packed DD into the truck as soon as we got back. He told her that until she cleans herself up she cannot see her granddaughter, as she just put her in harms way. I think it was an overflow of emotions for him because she was a single mom and he was an only child, and he took care of her his entire life (she always drank like this).
Jump ahead 7 months, my DH's family is trying hard to reunite them. His grandmother (an addictions consellor who doesn't see a problem!!!) was going to come visit me and DD the other day when DH was at work, and didn't let us know that my MIL was going to be with her. That was sneaky to me. And when we went on a visit to his aunt and uncles MIL was mad that no one called her to say we were there. I feel like she's trying to find ways to see DD without having to talk directly to her son. And that just doesn't work for me.
She has not reached out to apologize, and my husband will not be the first to call her. I am happy she is out of our lives right now because she could seriously hurt my DD someday if we leave her alone.
My question is, moving into a small town with a close knit family like his trying to get them to talk again, what shold we do? Is keeping DD away from her grandmother until she seeks help cruel? Should we just always be around when she's there? The drama is just so annoying.
When DD was 2 months old my MIL (a severe alcoholic) decided that she would get drunk before we came to visit her for a walk around the city during her treatment for breast cancer (She's in remission now). Unaware she was loaded until she was walking ahead of us with the stroller, we grabbed on and turned around. To make a long story short, she and DH got into a huge fight in the middle of the street as I packed DD into the truck as soon as we got back. He told her that until she cleans herself up she cannot see her granddaughter, as she just put her in harms way. I think it was an overflow of emotions for him because she was a single mom and he was an only child, and he took care of her his entire life (she always drank like this).
Jump ahead 7 months, my DH's family is trying hard to reunite them. His grandmother (an addictions consellor who doesn't see a problem!!!) was going to come visit me and DD the other day when DH was at work, and didn't let us know that my MIL was going to be with her. That was sneaky to me. And when we went on a visit to his aunt and uncles MIL was mad that no one called her to say we were there. I feel like she's trying to find ways to see DD without having to talk directly to her son. And that just doesn't work for me.
She has not reached out to apologize, and my husband will not be the first to call her. I am happy she is out of our lives right now because she could seriously hurt my DD someday if we leave her alone.
My question is, moving into a small town with a close knit family like his trying to get them to talk again, what shold we do? Is keeping DD away from her grandmother until she seeks help cruel? Should we just always be around when she's there? The drama is just so annoying.