I'm sorry this is long! I've been with my husband for 14 years (married for 4) and I used to have a great relationship with my MIL. Until 3 years ago, when DH grandpa died.
MIL, though kind, is narcissistic. She still criticizes a cousins wedding that happened years ago at the VFW as "crappy", checks her face in a compact after meals even at home, and is always quick to call someone she doesn't like "fat" or a "blob". She is pretty judgemental towards people who aren't married or don't have much money.
Well, they got lucky a couple years ago and inherited some money. She has changed 10000x worse since this happened. She makes it a point to tell anyone that money is "no object". They bought a house, redid it from top to bottom, and all she does is talk about how much everything costs and how they throw away money, they have so much of it (though at this rate, they won't for long!).
My issue is: it's annoying enough she goes on and on about spending money (seriously...she can't talk about books or the debate or the weather!!) but now it's like shes rubbing our noses in it. I lost my job after maternity leave and things have been tight to say the least. She brags that money is no issue, yet if if it truly weren't, wouldn't you want to help your son? we've never asked for help and wouldn't, but if she sees my rusted car I drive around, the hole in my husbands shoes, etc wouldn't you just have a natural desire to help your kids? Gosh, I would.
Anyways, here's what really makes my blood boil: DH sister doesn't work, never has, and is spoiled. MIL makes it a point to bring it up every time we see her that they spent too much money at the outlets or shes bought yet another outfit for SILs daughter (she brought over a too small tank top for my LO from marshals while SIL gets a spree at Nordstrom. Not kidding). So the favoritism of SIL over my husband, constant bragging of wealth and now the favoring of my neice over my own daughter is literally giving me chest pains!
I know this is DHs issue because it's his family, but *I'M* the one they yack my ear off too! I can't not see them, because then LO doesn't get to know her grandparents. If my husband brings this up to MIL, she will get so angry at him (she firmly believes that daughters are spoiled and don't have to work and boys need to work for everything).
My biggest concern is my LO will be hurt one day seeing how much love/attention/gifts her cousin gets and not her :/ and, I just wish MIL was her old, poor self. She is so ridiculous now and I just miss how things were.
How do I deal?
MIL, though kind, is narcissistic. She still criticizes a cousins wedding that happened years ago at the VFW as "crappy", checks her face in a compact after meals even at home, and is always quick to call someone she doesn't like "fat" or a "blob". She is pretty judgemental towards people who aren't married or don't have much money.
Well, they got lucky a couple years ago and inherited some money. She has changed 10000x worse since this happened. She makes it a point to tell anyone that money is "no object". They bought a house, redid it from top to bottom, and all she does is talk about how much everything costs and how they throw away money, they have so much of it (though at this rate, they won't for long!).
My issue is: it's annoying enough she goes on and on about spending money (seriously...she can't talk about books or the debate or the weather!!) but now it's like shes rubbing our noses in it. I lost my job after maternity leave and things have been tight to say the least. She brags that money is no issue, yet if if it truly weren't, wouldn't you want to help your son? we've never asked for help and wouldn't, but if she sees my rusted car I drive around, the hole in my husbands shoes, etc wouldn't you just have a natural desire to help your kids? Gosh, I would.
Anyways, here's what really makes my blood boil: DH sister doesn't work, never has, and is spoiled. MIL makes it a point to bring it up every time we see her that they spent too much money at the outlets or shes bought yet another outfit for SILs daughter (she brought over a too small tank top for my LO from marshals while SIL gets a spree at Nordstrom. Not kidding). So the favoritism of SIL over my husband, constant bragging of wealth and now the favoring of my neice over my own daughter is literally giving me chest pains!
I know this is DHs issue because it's his family, but *I'M* the one they yack my ear off too! I can't not see them, because then LO doesn't get to know her grandparents. If my husband brings this up to MIL, she will get so angry at him (she firmly believes that daughters are spoiled and don't have to work and boys need to work for everything).
My biggest concern is my LO will be hurt one day seeing how much love/attention/gifts her cousin gets and not her :/ and, I just wish MIL was her old, poor self. She is so ridiculous now and I just miss how things were.
How do I deal?