Hey guys, I need your help.
For the entire 5 years DH and I have been married, his dad and sisters have had some serious boundary and respect issues toward me. The biggest issue is flying in to town and staying with us without asking. They just book tickets and assume they can stay with us. My FIL especially does this. He's the instigator. He's retired and gets lonely so he'll just pack a bag and drive or fly here and stay for 3-4 weeks at a time. At first I didn't mind as much because we had a pretty good relationship and he always helped out with DD and around the house. But I'm 6 months pregnant and the last time he came in September it was for a month! I was sick, I didn't feel like getting the house nice every day and making myself presentable. So when he left, I told DH that I really didn't want any overnight houseguests until after I give birth. It became an argument that and he finally just said ok, fine. So he said he would let them know. Well, he did. But then he's getting texts from his sisters saying that they want to come out for a visit in March. I basically lost it and sent a mass email out to my side of the family and his side of the family setting the boundary that we will be unable to host any overnight houseguests for the next 6 months. Well, no one responded. I figured they were pissed but that's just not my problem. They can be mad. I'm giving birth. Not them. I live in this house. Not them.
So today, DH's uncle stops by (unannounced) and says "I guess your dad and sisters are going to come stay with us in March because apparently there was an email that said they're not welcome." It's totally fine that they visit but I just didn't want them staying here while I'm pregnant or have a newborn for the sake of not having a bunch of stress thrown on me. They can visit and stay somewhere else. I know my husband feels bad for them and truly does not understand why they can't stay here, no matter how I explain it but he's sticking to what I've said to support me which honestly makes me just feel guilty.
So where do I go from here? Should I reach out to them and say something like "hey! I heard your coming to Utah for a visit, I can't wait to see you!" To make it light? Or just ignore them? Which makes it awkward... Or what? I feel like they're being childish but I also don't want to be the bitchy wife that keeps my husband and daughter from their family... I feel like I'm stuck. Please help!
For the entire 5 years DH and I have been married, his dad and sisters have had some serious boundary and respect issues toward me. The biggest issue is flying in to town and staying with us without asking. They just book tickets and assume they can stay with us. My FIL especially does this. He's the instigator. He's retired and gets lonely so he'll just pack a bag and drive or fly here and stay for 3-4 weeks at a time. At first I didn't mind as much because we had a pretty good relationship and he always helped out with DD and around the house. But I'm 6 months pregnant and the last time he came in September it was for a month! I was sick, I didn't feel like getting the house nice every day and making myself presentable. So when he left, I told DH that I really didn't want any overnight houseguests until after I give birth. It became an argument that and he finally just said ok, fine. So he said he would let them know. Well, he did. But then he's getting texts from his sisters saying that they want to come out for a visit in March. I basically lost it and sent a mass email out to my side of the family and his side of the family setting the boundary that we will be unable to host any overnight houseguests for the next 6 months. Well, no one responded. I figured they were pissed but that's just not my problem. They can be mad. I'm giving birth. Not them. I live in this house. Not them.
So today, DH's uncle stops by (unannounced) and says "I guess your dad and sisters are going to come stay with us in March because apparently there was an email that said they're not welcome." It's totally fine that they visit but I just didn't want them staying here while I'm pregnant or have a newborn for the sake of not having a bunch of stress thrown on me. They can visit and stay somewhere else. I know my husband feels bad for them and truly does not understand why they can't stay here, no matter how I explain it but he's sticking to what I've said to support me which honestly makes me just feel guilty.
So where do I go from here? Should I reach out to them and say something like "hey! I heard your coming to Utah for a visit, I can't wait to see you!" To make it light? Or just ignore them? Which makes it awkward... Or what? I feel like they're being childish but I also don't want to be the bitchy wife that keeps my husband and daughter from their family... I feel like I'm stuck. Please help!
