It's been a bit since I last posted; and things have just gotten worse. I like to think I successfully navigated the waters of dealing with my CO brother; but now I have a whole new bag of crazy to deal with.
A little background: FOO has stolen from me from the time I was a teenager. I remember being a senior in HS and saving my biggest paycheck up to that time to plate my car and buy myself a prom dress. I came home one day and the check was gone. Dad had endorsed my name and went down to the bank and cashed it.
I was furious. Nothing says I love you quite like a little check fraud. Fast forward a few years and I'm in my first marriage. Ex husband comes into some money, and the vultures start circling. Between the two of them, I believe my parents "borrowed" about 4-5k from us (ballpark figure; I could be a bit off). We never saw a dime of it.
After my marriage crashed a burned, I moved back in with my folks for about 2 months while I was getting my shit together and scraping enough money together to get myself into a crappy apartment. In that timeframe my wedding rings miraculously "disappeared". This is also about the time that dear old dad showed back up with a new projection screen t.v. and surround sound for his man cave (my folks are by no means well off people and live paycheck to paycheck, not always making ends meet...you do the math).
I never could prove anything, and couldn't locate the rings at any local pawn shops. I never did get a confession out of him, so I let that go....begrudgingly.
The latest occured on my parents last visit up here (they live about 8 hours away). They have a habit of just calling and being like "Oh, we're on our way--ps it's totally cool if we stay with you right?" I know you're going to eat me alive for that one...my lack of shiny spine there is glaringly apparent; even to me.
Anyhow, they get up here, and dad magically forgot his debit card; and there are no bank branches for his bank in my state. He asks if he can write me a check since nobody really accepts out of state checks around here. I asked him straight out if this check was going to bounce and got the standard "no, no it's fine. I just forgot my debit card" bullshit. And I fell for it. Hook, line and sinker.
Two weeks later, guess who gets love mail from her credit union saying that a check I had deposited had bounced?! This girl. FI and I were moving into our new house and his parents were helping, and I just had to stop and cry. I don't know why I was surprised. I just....I feel so cheated. My FI has this awesome family, who doesn't do shady shit like this to one another, and I'm constantly wondering how I'm going to be screwed over by my family next.
FF to today. It's been 21/2 weeks of radio silence. I get a text from my mom asking what gives and why I haven't been in contact with her. I advised her that I live at work and that I was less than thrilled with her husband. I told her I was tired of him stealing from me, considering he's been doing it since I was a teenager, and that I know he took my wedding rings and knew that check was going to bounce.
She got pissed and said "so because you're mad at him you're just going to cut me out of your life?"
I told her that because I was mad and because she's stood by for the past decade and allowed her spouse to take advantage of her children that I was taking a time out to calm down.
Get home from work and have a series of messages from my father, stating that he didn't appreciate me calling him a thief, and not to worry, because I won't be hearing from him again, except to mail me my money. I BH'd the messages because they reeked of manipulation, but I can't help but feel bad. Am I in the wrong here?
I don't want my daughter to grow up and think this behavior is normal for families. Please help. I'm so out of my league here it's unbelievable.