Hi, a daddy here looking for practical and reasoned advice.
My wife is spoiled. She's the only child of her parents and has been raised with the "Whatever I want, I can get" attitude. I come from a big family, so we have differing backgrounds and views on life. We met four years ago when I was 32 and she 26. We got married two years later and are awaiting the birth of our first child in January.
When we got married, or shall I say,planned our wedding, my future mother in law at the time paid for every single thing on the bridal side. Everything. She didn't want my half contribution, and my now wife, didn't contribute a cent. We were living in an apartment before marriage and had plans to stay in it after, before thinking of a home.
At the wedding rehearsal dinner when everyone was giving toasts, mother in law got up and stated she loved her new son and wanted to do for us what was best. She bought a house for us. She had the keys with her and said it was ready to move in. My future wife was stoked, I was ok but totally confused. We talked about it before the night was over and she felt her parents did us a service of flying pass a major hurdle.
After honeymoon, she was at the house every single day. They'll shop, travel and go to the spa like two spoiled idiots. My wife worked but her mom would still give her an allowance. I spoke with my mother in law about my concerns and how she needed to back the hell off. She needed to let her daughter live life and mature as a wife as she was no longer a teen or college student. She backed off but when my wife found out, she threw a fit. I told her I'm not married to her mother, im married to her and only her. To woman up and grow the hell up by stop accepting the allowance and focus on our life. I had her settled for a while. My mother in law was only seen when needed.
When we got pregnant, she wanted to tell the whole family. She made a post on facebook and called many people. My mother in law used the opportunity to be mother and husband to her. Going to appointments, well showing up at appointments like its her who is pregnant, coming over with nursery ideas, buying baby stuff here and there and talking names she'll like her grandchild to have. We don't want to find out the gender, she's nagging to break the rule so to know.
I sat my wife down in the place I proposed to her and told her she needs to put her mother in place, not out of rudeness, but for respect of me and our family. Meaning she, our baby and I. My family doesn't nag us or get this involved. She listened and decided to talk with her mom in my presence. Her mother understood as she claimed, and said she'll step back and give us breathing space with privacy. We were rid of her for months. Two weekends ago, she used spite to get back at me. She had a BBQ and invited my wife's ex boyfriend who's not married. She sat there talking about how if they didn't brek up she'll probably have two grandchildren by now. She said in front her guests how he was the one who got away. It was embarrassing. Then, she took it upon herself to come over and ask to set up a money fund for our baby. We told her it wasn't necessary. Then we got a delivery truck with baby stuff. We sent them back. The last appointment, she showed up when my wife was in with the nurse. I ignored her and waited until we got seen and after the doctor was finished, she wanted to know what was said. My wife knows now what a nag her mother is. But we can't get rid of her. She's put our baby's ultrasound as her profile pic, she posts about how she can't wait to see her baby, and at times posts things like how husbands shouldn't bar their wives from seeing family.
I'm pissed off and need advice on how to get her out of our life.
My wife is spoiled. She's the only child of her parents and has been raised with the "Whatever I want, I can get" attitude. I come from a big family, so we have differing backgrounds and views on life. We met four years ago when I was 32 and she 26. We got married two years later and are awaiting the birth of our first child in January.
When we got married, or shall I say,planned our wedding, my future mother in law at the time paid for every single thing on the bridal side. Everything. She didn't want my half contribution, and my now wife, didn't contribute a cent. We were living in an apartment before marriage and had plans to stay in it after, before thinking of a home.
At the wedding rehearsal dinner when everyone was giving toasts, mother in law got up and stated she loved her new son and wanted to do for us what was best. She bought a house for us. She had the keys with her and said it was ready to move in. My future wife was stoked, I was ok but totally confused. We talked about it before the night was over and she felt her parents did us a service of flying pass a major hurdle.
After honeymoon, she was at the house every single day. They'll shop, travel and go to the spa like two spoiled idiots. My wife worked but her mom would still give her an allowance. I spoke with my mother in law about my concerns and how she needed to back the hell off. She needed to let her daughter live life and mature as a wife as she was no longer a teen or college student. She backed off but when my wife found out, she threw a fit. I told her I'm not married to her mother, im married to her and only her. To woman up and grow the hell up by stop accepting the allowance and focus on our life. I had her settled for a while. My mother in law was only seen when needed.
When we got pregnant, she wanted to tell the whole family. She made a post on facebook and called many people. My mother in law used the opportunity to be mother and husband to her. Going to appointments, well showing up at appointments like its her who is pregnant, coming over with nursery ideas, buying baby stuff here and there and talking names she'll like her grandchild to have. We don't want to find out the gender, she's nagging to break the rule so to know.
I sat my wife down in the place I proposed to her and told her she needs to put her mother in place, not out of rudeness, but for respect of me and our family. Meaning she, our baby and I. My family doesn't nag us or get this involved. She listened and decided to talk with her mom in my presence. Her mother understood as she claimed, and said she'll step back and give us breathing space with privacy. We were rid of her for months. Two weekends ago, she used spite to get back at me. She had a BBQ and invited my wife's ex boyfriend who's not married. She sat there talking about how if they didn't brek up she'll probably have two grandchildren by now. She said in front her guests how he was the one who got away. It was embarrassing. Then, she took it upon herself to come over and ask to set up a money fund for our baby. We told her it wasn't necessary. Then we got a delivery truck with baby stuff. We sent them back. The last appointment, she showed up when my wife was in with the nurse. I ignored her and waited until we got seen and after the doctor was finished, she wanted to know what was said. My wife knows now what a nag her mother is. But we can't get rid of her. She's put our baby's ultrasound as her profile pic, she posts about how she can't wait to see her baby, and at times posts things like how husbands shouldn't bar their wives from seeing family.
I'm pissed off and need advice on how to get her out of our life.