Hey ladies... I posted this in Oct 2013 birthclub but a lot of posters told me to post here to get some honest feedback and help me stand up to my grandparents. In need of some advice or just some support.
I have been having some problems with my grandparents lately (actually for a while..). When my DD spends the night at their house she sleeps in the bed with my grandma. I wouldn't have a problem with it if she didn't have such a terrible time getting back into routine when she comes back home. When she comes back home from spending the night with them she doesn't want to sleep in her crib and we have to deal with her crying and trying to get her back into routine and on her sleep schedule. This happens everytime where when she would come home she would resist sleep and not want to sleep in the crib and it would take a day or two before she gets back into routine and goes to bed in her crib at a certain time.
I figured since she was having a rough time everytime, I decided that she would not be able to spend the night at her great grandparents house for a while til I figure out how to compromise. I told my grandparents this on Saturday and they were very hurt and upset. So the next day was Fathers Day and we came back over so we could go out for breakfast with my grandpa and my fiance. My grandpa was saying he wasn't feeling well and his stomach was hurting him really bad. I was really worried and said maybe you should go to the emergency room and he said no and that we should go on out to eat. So we went and everything.
So yesterday was my birthday (30th birthday woohoo!!) and I went by my grandparents house again to see them. And that is when I got unloaded on. My grandpa wanted to fix my A/C at a certain mechanic and go out the eat after so I drove him there. That is when he told me he wasn't sick that day, he said he was hurt that the baby couldn't spend the night. Then he said that my fiance is controlling me and that he made the decision for her to not spend the night anymore which I told him was not true. I told him that I decided she couldn't spend the night at the moment because she would have such a hard time going to sleep at night when she came back home. He then told me I need to take parenting classes. I was really hurt by this. Then he kept talking about my fiance and how he is selfish and controlling and all of this bad stuff. I thought my grandpa liked him but I guess I was wrong.
I tried to explain to my grandpa why I choose for DD to not spend the night right now but he didn't understand. I didn't say she coudn't come over I just said not spend the night because she would cry all night when she come home. I was so hurt and upset because I just wanted some support for my decision. I'm just trying to do the best thing for her.
And for him to tell me I need to take parenting classes when all I try to do is give her the best. I was defintely hurt.
I'm just really confused on what to do. I don't even want to see my grandparents right now. I mean pretending like you are sick because the baby can't spend the night is extreme. I thought he was really sick. And this isn't the first time my grandparents have gotten extreme. Ever since I have had the baby it has been one thing after the other. They didn't agree with me breastfeeding and would always ask me when am I going to stop or that I wasn't breastfed and I took a bottle or if I didn't stop BF'ing she would be nursing til she was 7 or how breastfeeding was making me fat. Plus I was called fat so many times and told I need to lose weight and all of this.
I'm just so tired of it. But I feel like I can't distance myself from them because I feel like that is wrong too. They are in their 80's and I am pretty much all they have including my daughter. But i'm tired of being torn apart for every little thing. Plus hearing my fiance is nothing when he has been nothing but supportive and loving throughout this whole journey.
I'm so sorry this is so long but I had to get this off my chest. I was crying so much yesterday and it was my birthday. I'm just trying to figure out what should I do. I try to stand up to them and they tell me i'm wrong. Or they tell me my fiance made the decision which wasn't true. I'm just not sure what to do.
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Drama with Grandparents, update pg 22, update pg 44, update pg 47, update pg 49
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