I'm not a regular commenter but I've posted my fair share.
I was medi-vacced to another city yesterday because the hospital where I live cannot deliver babies as young as mine. I'm 24 weeks. This baby was a surprise but a beautiful and wanted surprise. I'm dilating and they don't think there is anything they can do to stop it.
I just want my cervix to close so my little girl can bake some more.
I feel so cursed. Years and years ago a very mean spirited cousin told my mother I'd had three miscarriages. At the time I'd never even been pregnant. My first pregnancy did end in miscarriage and I never told my mother. She always believed my awful cousin's lie. My second pregnancy ended in a beautiful boy who smells like happiness. This pregnancy, supposed to be my last, is threatening to end way too early. I feel like someone is twisting away at my heart.
One of my sisters told my crappy cousin I'm pregnant and that Interferring cow told my mother. I don't talk to my mother. I haven't named my break from her, I just know I'm not interested. She's been leaving me messages to talk about my baby but I've BHed.
I haven't any decent person in my family that I can pour my heart out to and simply cry. Life feels like such a sick joke...until I think about my boy. But I want my baby girl there too.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't the usual. I'm not even on a birth board. I just like you guys.
Hope that made sense. I'm kind of blurry eyed right now.
I was medi-vacced to another city yesterday because the hospital where I live cannot deliver babies as young as mine. I'm 24 weeks. This baby was a surprise but a beautiful and wanted surprise. I'm dilating and they don't think there is anything they can do to stop it.
I just want my cervix to close so my little girl can bake some more.
I feel so cursed. Years and years ago a very mean spirited cousin told my mother I'd had three miscarriages. At the time I'd never even been pregnant. My first pregnancy did end in miscarriage and I never told my mother. She always believed my awful cousin's lie. My second pregnancy ended in a beautiful boy who smells like happiness. This pregnancy, supposed to be my last, is threatening to end way too early. I feel like someone is twisting away at my heart.
One of my sisters told my crappy cousin I'm pregnant and that Interferring cow told my mother. I don't talk to my mother. I haven't named my break from her, I just know I'm not interested. She's been leaving me messages to talk about my baby but I've BHed.
I haven't any decent person in my family that I can pour my heart out to and simply cry. Life feels like such a sick joke...until I think about my boy. But I want my baby girl there too.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't the usual. I'm not even on a birth board. I just like you guys.
Hope that made sense. I'm kind of blurry eyed right now.