Ive been contemplating posting her for months but didnt feel like typing the entire story on my phone but ive decided that i needed some advice from people who are in similar situations as me so I logged into my SO's laptop.
Please excuse some typos it seems that the commas look like periods and they are very hard for me to tell the difference on this computer screen. Also the spell check doesn't work here so ill do my best.
Some background
I got together with my SO in November of last year and we hit it off very quickly, We moved in together 2 months later.(Yes im aware we are nuts) So anyway we ended up getting pregnant in April after my birth control failed. And now we have a 3 month old LO. His mom went from being super nice to me to being a grumpy ass bitch and hating me in a very short amount of time. I think this has to do with the fact that she feels like im "stealing" her first born son.
I always thought she was a little weird. She used to party with her kids. I saw pictures of her at a rave with her sons who were in their late teens and early 20's online and thought it was just so odd but obviously would never say anything to her like that but did ask SO about it and he said its because she got married and had kids so young thats why she likes to go out now (at the age of 50).. she even invited us to a rave with her while I was pregnant which i guess was kind of nice. I didnt go. I think my SO believes this behavior is normaI.
Below are a few incidents that this shiesty woman has caused.
For my gender determination ultrasound I invited my mother and MIL to the appointment to which they both attended, When we found out LO was a girl I was over the moon. His mother thought it was ok to then blurt out that she was dissapointed and wanted a boy right there in front of the ultrasound tech, I was so pissed, but of corse let it go.
At this time we were looking into buying a house but his family was not supportive and did not want him getting a house with me. I completely understand where they were coming from because its a huge commitment but then again so is having a child. Either way we didnt end up getting one together. He could only get approved for about $60,000 and that was not going to get us anything even halfway decent so my mom offered to help us by cosigning. His mothere had a HUGE problem with it because we were looking at houses that were far from her (45 mins away) and close to my family members. Again I understand her frustrations but for me since we were not married and he wasnt going to be on the mortgage I thought it only made sense for me to be close to my support system. She threw a fit when we did finally find a house and was very rude to me VIA txt about it. I did stand up for myself and explained myself at that time.
For my babyshower my mom had asked her if she wanted to help with ideas or if she wanted to do anything special or if she had anyone to invite. She didnt want to do anything and she didnt invite one single person. She threw a fit because we told her she couldnt bring SO's little brother (it was a girls only shower) so she sat by herself in the corner. My family did talk to her and tried to include her which I think they did a good job at. Oh and she also had a huge issue with buying the stroller and carseat because it wasnt what she wanted to buy.
Christmas day I left my familys to go to her house to celebrate as I thought it was the right thing to do. We had a nice dinner and then one of the family friends came over to hang out. Well this asshole decided to start going on and on about how jacked up my vagina is going to be after I give birth. Im sure that is every 9 month pregnant womans dream to hear. He proceeded to say things like "hot dog down a hallway" and "roast beef curtians" I was so embarassed and upset. I told him to shut the fuck up and he continued so I left the room. From the other room I heard this guy continuing to say nasty things about childbirth while everyone laughed so I got up and left. Not one person in that room stood up for me or told that kid to stop and I was beside myself. I ended up leaving and MIL decided to text me to tell me how upset she was that she didnt get her family picture because I left. Cause I wasnt there to take the picture of her and "her boys" Yep.. my fault.. go fuck yourself. Side note: I did have a super fabulous converation with SO about how he didnt stand up for me and we got that all straightened out that night.
Fast forward to LO being 1 month old. MIL asked if we were free one Friday and I told her we were busy but maybe she could come over Saturday during the day. She then decided she was going to tell me that because her son was off of work that we could drive to her house. I told her that I wasnt comfortable bringing LO that far because it was just alot of travel time for a 1month old. SHE FLIPPED HER SHIT. Called my SO on the phone and told him I was trying to keep the baby from her which was not true at all. I figured since she didnt just give birth or have a newborn that it might be easier for her to come to us. Apparently she did not agree. Anyway we argued on the phone for a half hour, she said some dumb ass shit and we got absolutley no where with the conversation because she continually cut me off and wouldnt let me get a word in edge wise. Awkwardly enough she ended up coming over the next day for a visit and we both acted like nothing happened.
My most recent issue. I work 1 night a week at a busy bar and make awesome money so im able to still contribute quiet a bit to the bills. I went back 3 weeks pp since I didnt get paid leave or disability. Since I absolutley love being home with my LO ive recently asked SO to pay more of the bills (approx. $379 a month more) and he didnt have a problem since he makes 4 times as much as I do. Lets not forget I take care of our child, keep the house clean, and do EVERYTHING around the house. Anyway one day I posted a picture of my LO in her pajamas and our dogs with the captions "bums" she went ahead and took a screen shot and sent it to SO saying how it "must be nice to be lazy" Keep in mind this woman was a SAHM for over 10 years and didnt work at all. And when she did go back to work she only worked 7 months out of the year. Currently she works 3 days a week. SO reminded her of this and she said to him that it was different when she stayed home because she made her husband lunch every day and cooked dinner every night. She then asked SO if I was still paying half and he told her no. She decided to tell SO that it wasnt right and basically insinuated that im using him. WTF. This was Easter weekend. Well when I heard this new information I couldnt hold it in anymore I had to say something to this bitch. This is what I txtd her.
"I dont appreciate you telling SO that im a lazy person and that I do nothing for him. I dont think its fair for you to say things ike that when you dont know what I do everyday. SO and I have been splitting all of the bills for your information, not that its any of your business. Although I did recently ask him to start paying more of the bills since he makes alot more than I do and im staying home with the baby taking care of her all of the time. I am also trying to save for a new car. I dont appreciate you trying to put negative ideas in his head about me and tear us apart. Ive done nothing to be treated like this or for you to talk so badly about me."
She never responded to my text until today. She asked if she could come over to talk about things but I had plans to attend my cousins swearing in ceremony so I told her Sunday would be best since SO would be off from work and id be more comfortable with him being there as a mediator. She said she was hoping to talk to me before then because she wanted us to come over for a BBQ. I havent let her know when we can get together to talk or if we will be going to her house. I dont want to go and I honestly dont want to talk to her. Since she basically put herself in a TO by not responding to my text, my SO and I have been getting along so much better. I honestly feel like she was a big factor in the majority of our fights. I know it bothers SO and he wants us to get along but I honestly feel like its just never going to happen. I understand that this woman does not like me and although it hurts my feelings im willing to just get along with her so she can have a relationship with my LO. But on the other hand I will not let my LO around someone who talks so much shit about me and thinks of me as such a low person. My question to you guys is should I talk with her? Should I give her another chance? I know what I want to do (never talk to that captial C again) but what should I do?
Thanks for reading, it took me FOREVER to type this whole thing out.