BG: I've always been the scape goat in my family. I have 3 brothers and three sisters and when something has gone wrong with any of them it's been laid into me and they all quit talking to me unless one of them needs something.
I won't go into childhood things because then thi would be even more of a novel then it already will be. OSis got divorced a while back and laid out her frustrations onto me until she needed someone to watch her two kids, then we were friends. She hasn't called, texted or in any way communicated with me in the last 18 months unless she has something she needs from me.
OBro was my best friend growing up and after he got married (to a very abusive and controlling girl) he distanced himself a lot. I tried being friendly with SIL because I knew how it felt for inland to be unfriendly and she would never speak to me. When they got pregnant with DNe1 she became all friendly and asked me to do their maternity/newborn photos. I happily obliged thinking things were turning around. After DNe1 was born the only time they would talk to me is when they wanted pictures or they needed a babysitter.
LSis1 got married and completely shut me out until she wanted photos taken. She and BIL had a religious ceremony a year after they were married and invited me. A few weeks before the ceremony we both found out we were pregnant. A few weeks after announcing I heard she was mad at me so when she called to ask if I would be going to their dinner after their ceremony I asked if she was really mad, mind you she hadn't spoken to me in 5 months since I did her pictures so I was really confused as to how I upset her, she said, "yes" me: "why" her: "it's not something I want to discuss over the phone, but I was just going through some things and you're the one it's being blamed on." That is honestly word for word what she told me. I shrugged it off thinking I obviously didn't do anything and moves on. In the following weeks she invites and uninvited me from the ceremony three times, I still showed up after all of this when her final response was an invitation.
(The above all happened in 2015)
FF to March and OBro and SIL have DNe2. They didn't tell me LO was here until LSis2 (who lives with me) couldn't watch DNe1 while OBro went to the hospital to get the baby and SIL, so they had her hand me the phone and then announced the birth to me and asked me for very last minute babysitting services. I dragged my pregnant butt and 2yo DS out the door in ten minutes and happily babysat.
Last Saturday was LSis1 baby shower. I went with a very nice gift, and stood around while OSis, OBro, and LSis1 glared at me. The last ten minutes I had great conversation with LSis1 and thought things were turning around.
Today OBro texts me and asks me to babysit his two boys. I again gladly say yes. He shows up and tells me he and SIL are going to see LSis1 in the hospital, and can I believe she had LO while our parents were gone. I hadn't heard LSis1 had the baby so it kind of stung.
There is a lot that has happened in between at holidays and things that I haven't included but this is so long.
How do I stop chasing after relationships with people who obviously just don't want them? Is there an issue here or are my pregnancy hormones getting to me?
I won't go into childhood things because then thi would be even more of a novel then it already will be. OSis got divorced a while back and laid out her frustrations onto me until she needed someone to watch her two kids, then we were friends. She hasn't called, texted or in any way communicated with me in the last 18 months unless she has something she needs from me.
OBro was my best friend growing up and after he got married (to a very abusive and controlling girl) he distanced himself a lot. I tried being friendly with SIL because I knew how it felt for inland to be unfriendly and she would never speak to me. When they got pregnant with DNe1 she became all friendly and asked me to do their maternity/newborn photos. I happily obliged thinking things were turning around. After DNe1 was born the only time they would talk to me is when they wanted pictures or they needed a babysitter.
LSis1 got married and completely shut me out until she wanted photos taken. She and BIL had a religious ceremony a year after they were married and invited me. A few weeks before the ceremony we both found out we were pregnant. A few weeks after announcing I heard she was mad at me so when she called to ask if I would be going to their dinner after their ceremony I asked if she was really mad, mind you she hadn't spoken to me in 5 months since I did her pictures so I was really confused as to how I upset her, she said, "yes" me: "why" her: "it's not something I want to discuss over the phone, but I was just going through some things and you're the one it's being blamed on." That is honestly word for word what she told me. I shrugged it off thinking I obviously didn't do anything and moves on. In the following weeks she invites and uninvited me from the ceremony three times, I still showed up after all of this when her final response was an invitation.
(The above all happened in 2015)
FF to March and OBro and SIL have DNe2. They didn't tell me LO was here until LSis2 (who lives with me) couldn't watch DNe1 while OBro went to the hospital to get the baby and SIL, so they had her hand me the phone and then announced the birth to me and asked me for very last minute babysitting services. I dragged my pregnant butt and 2yo DS out the door in ten minutes and happily babysat.
Last Saturday was LSis1 baby shower. I went with a very nice gift, and stood around while OSis, OBro, and LSis1 glared at me. The last ten minutes I had great conversation with LSis1 and thought things were turning around.
Today OBro texts me and asks me to babysit his two boys. I again gladly say yes. He shows up and tells me he and SIL are going to see LSis1 in the hospital, and can I believe she had LO while our parents were gone. I hadn't heard LSis1 had the baby so it kind of stung.
There is a lot that has happened in between at holidays and things that I haven't included but this is so long.
How do I stop chasing after relationships with people who obviously just don't want them? Is there an issue here or are my pregnancy hormones getting to me?